Thursday, March 19, 2009

Week 2 is hard already!!

I decided I wanted to move right away into Wk 2. (That is 5 min walk, 3 min runs Four times)...

I knew it was going to be tough, so I texted a few of my "running girls" to see if anyone could meet me. Luckily Margaret was free! Yay! I decided we should meet in the middle and get a change of scenery and so we went to White Rock (it was in the middle between work and where Marg was and I've been wanting to go out there but not really by myself!)

I LOVE lakes and so I thought it would motivate me if I had something pretty to look at...

WEll... it started ok... we got on the trail and we were off... 10 min walking to warm up and then the time was coming for the first 3 min set. It started off just fine... no biggie... I felt like it was FOREVER... looked at my watch at 2min or so... and was like- man! Ok... Keep going! (Marg was a big help too!) So we pushed it ... i looked at the watch again... 20 seconds left... so we decided I had to run to a certain tree before I could look again... I did and guess what? I ran 10 seconds over!!! So that was a good one!

The second time around, I ran and started getting that side pain again about 40 seconds from the end of the 3 min. IT HURT!!! A LOT! So I made it the whole 3 minutes... BARELY.... and then was in pain as we walked... SOOO I was the time keeper and Marg and I were just chatting away and I kinda never told her when the time was up for us to run again! OOPS! :) I just didnt' want to! She didn't seem to notice.

Everytime a bicycler rode past us I was LONGING to be on something that would carry me far and fast... instead of having to use my own body to do so! Marg swears it isn't any easier.... but i'm pretty sure it is! I used to have a bike and I LOVED to ride... and go fast... and just travel wherever... now walking and running... its so hard to LOVE. Actually I'm doing good to just not LOATHE it!!! :)

It was getting late (Marg had to be somewherE) so I told her she could run ahead... in which case she asked when we do the next interval run and I said...uh... 10 min ago!!! Twice by now!!:) So after that, she didn't want to run ahead... she wanted to make me run... sooo... we did. However at about 2:20 my side was hurting again, we were going uphill, the sun was BEATING down, and it was MISERABLE... so I just stopped running to walk. Of course as soon as marg noticed she was on me to "Pick up your feet! Move!! Jog, or at least BOUNCE!!!" So I did... for like another 10 -15 seconds... and then we're on this steep incline... and I'm DYING, my KNEES were hurting and I stopped again... She got on me again (which I'm thankful for) and so i started sorta running again... till the end.... but I prob only got in about 2:45 of actual running... w all the stops and starts.

I did NOT feel good in the end. I wasn't exhillerated, or even proud of myself really. Ya I upped it to 3 min... but I didnt' complete 4 cycles... just 3... and a weak 3 at that. I kinda felt like I failed Wk 2 #1! Like I should redo it bc it didn't count... Honestly, I was disappointed. I was disappointed that it was so hard! I was disappointed that I didn't push through, disappointed that my knee hurt, disappointed that I wanted to quit bc it was hard and HOT HOT HOT! I really started to wonder if I REALLY am cut out for this running thing.. or if this was just some crazy LOFTY goal.

Of course I feel like some of that emotion could be bc yesterday was the first FULL day of that wonderful time of the month. And I consoled myself later in the evening by remembering that most of the time on the FIRST day, I'm bloated and barely do ANYTHING... and at least I was out exercising for 45 min and ran some of that. But... thats a weak consolation right now. I just dont know if i CAN do this! I mean, I want to... I'm gonna work hard on it... I'm going to push myself... but I'm lacking the faith or even that hope that I'll be able to run the whole 5K in June... and then I'll feel like I failed.

Its dumb... I know! It really is. I'm doing SOMETHING... and surely the endurance and strength will be built up... surely! But the idea of running 5 min at a time or even 8 min in the next couple of weeks... really scares me... bc I dont know if I have it in me. I'm not totally discouraged and I'm not giving up... but I'm bummed! This is REALLY hard.

I feel like changing the verse Phil 4:13- I think i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, or I really hope I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.


Till next time,

Workout stats: Time: 45 min, Distance: 2 mi (ish), Run Time: 8 min, 55 seconds. (should have been 12 min!)

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