Who I'm Becoming...

His Bounty

2011-12-08T08:46:00.000-08:00

Leap of Faith

Things have been pretty tight financially since quitting my job.. (actually who am I kidding... they were tight before quitting my job!) and this month they were the tightest they've been. I wasnt' sure how Rent was going to get paid, but somehow things always work out... So, I wrote my roommate a check and told her she couldn't cash it. It was a long weekend as I prayed and tried to figure out what I could do to make up the money. Monday came around and my circumstances hadn't changed. Actually- I'd had 2 photoshoots cancel over the weekend where I would have gotten pd. I was super discouraged. Well luckily on Monday, I had some stuff come in from previous work and was pd in advance for a couple other things I'm working on - so Rent got pd in the nick of time and I had $3 left in my bank account after the check was cashed - but I felt RICH! I was thankful! Relieved. I didn't' know how other bills/gas/food was going to work out- but I paid my roommate and God provided.

BREAKING POINT - Sunday

However, through this process the last few weeks, I started to really question God's love for me. And Sunday was my breaking point. I've always been a person full of hope and faith, but on Sunday I was just telling Him I'd had it and he was not being faithful to His promises to provide for me, or the word he gave me in 2007 of having "financial Abundance in order to not just meet my own need, but to bless others." Its been hard since I took the scary leap of faith that I felt He called me to (quitting job) but never as hard as it was this month... at Christmas.. .when I have a 6 yr old who I want to provide for.

So at church Sunday during ministry time, they were singing "How He Loves Us" and I was just sobbing- not bc I didnt' have money bc I knew that would work out some how... (it kinda always does in my world thankfully) but bc I felt like he didn't really love me. I started to believe that song wasn't about me. I was the exception. He had forgotten me. My family struggled financially as I grew up and now I was following in their footsteps. I started to believe that he called me out onto a tree branch to just saw it off behind me and I was sad and more than that, deeply, deeply, hurt. I sobbed more than I've cried in a year. And it wasn't about the rent. It was just about feeling forgotten and unloved.

I cried most of the day on and off. Couldn't stop. Was just so hurt and sad.

Side note: BEST CHILD EVER

So Nate was around and knew I wasn't ok, but just kinda played, etc. Well, towards the end of the day, I had been doing ok but then a friend called to check on me from earlier and I started crying again. Nate got in my lap and just stared intently at my face.... every time a tear would roll down my cheek, he would wipe it off. So sweet. So when I hung up, he told me everything was goign to be ok. And then he prayed for me. It was simple - "God, please bring my mommy a husband so she doesn't have to be alone. And God help her to not be sad because she thinks you dont love her - because it isn't true, you do love her. And Jesus Name amen."

And then he told me some knock knock jokes to make me laugh. So so sweet.

Then he got in bed and asked me to come in and pray w him.

He prayed: "God, thank you that we have this house and thank you that we aren't poor like the people that don't have a house. And thank you that we have food. And God please help them to not be poor anymore so they have a place to live and food to eat. In Jesus Name, Amen." I started crying again... I love that kid. He is so empathetic and he truly has wisdom beyond his years.

I think that was the turning point for me. He put things in perspective. We have a warm home, we have clothes, we have a fridge full of food, we have transportation, and we are truly RICH. My heart started to soften then. I started to relax and His peace overwhelmed me. I was still in Need, but it just didn't seem so big anymore.

DAY OF LOVE:: WEdnesday

So during the day yesterday, a girl I used to disciple called and said she wanted to take me to shop for Nate for Christmas. I was thrilled $and so thankful and had a blast getting him stuff that I prob wouldn't have this yr (like a super cute robe and adorable jammies from Children's Place!) I was blown away and just felt like God was showing me He was going to provide for Nate even when I had JUST told my roommate that I wasn't sure I would be buying Nate presents - but that he'd just have to be ok w stuff from extended fam, grand parents, etc (which honestly would be plenty!). But God met a need that I didn't even ask for. He went over and above and He blessed my sweet little boy through this friend.

Then last night, we had a great lg at my house. I was supposed to lead worship and though I didnt' feel like I had much to give after all of the crying, etc this week, Holy Spirit showed up and guided our worship and it was a sweet sweet time singing about spending time with him and His love for us.

So then, a close friend showed up at the end of LG to supposedly talk... but after a few minutes, one by one more and more of my single friends showed up at my house and came in. I was pretty surprised to see everyone and not sure what they were doing here, but then when everyone got situated standing in a big circle alll smiling and staring at me, they just said something like "We just wanted to let you know that God does love you. And we do too. So we all got together in the last 2 days and raised some money for you" And then they pull out this huge posterboard check in the amount of $2090.00.

I was just in shock! 30 single people 12 days before Christmas all gave enough money to get me 2 THOUSAND 90 dollars! And you have to understand, the demographic of these sweet friends is quite varied - from ages 22-31 with all different types of jobs & responsibilities... from Students to Businessmen. And THEY gave to ME abundantly, unselfishly, extravagantly. I couldn't laugh or cry or even talk - (sorry friends for the anticlimactic response!). I was just so surprised! And SERIOUSLY SPEECHLESS - which as most of you know RARELY happens for me. I was just so thankful - but soooo overwhelmed and truly blown away by community. It just couldnt' sink in.

BOUNTIFUL

Acts 2:42-47 which is our vision for life groups, talks about how the church in Acts all came together and gave to one another as they had need. If this isn't an example of that - I'm not sure what is!!

Its also finally setting in today that God does truly love me and he isn't ignoring me and I'm not forgotten and I'm definitely not alone. And i know that HE WILL provide for me and not just measly scraps or leftovers- but LAVISH gifts fit for a daughter of a King.

I read in Jeremiah this morning as I was worshiping and trying to process the depths of this, I was led to Jer 31. The end of Verse 13 -14 says:"I will turn their morning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow. I will satisfy the priests with abundance, and my people will be filled with my bounty," declares the Lord.

So what stuck out to me in that verse was the word BOUNTY. I looked up the word to see what exactly it meant and I found:

Definition of BOUNTY1: something that is given generously
2: liberality in giving : generosity

So that fits - huh? My community filled me with His BOUNTY. They were the fulfillment of this Promise from the Lord to me.

My roommate in all her wisdom last night said that she thought I would continue to process and unpack this and that it would sink in slowly all that this gift means to me and Nate. But more importantly probably is that the revelation is sinking in that I'm not the red-headed step child - the one that may not actually starve but only gets His leftovers. I'm not destined to be barely getting by like my family when I was growing up. No, that is a lie. I am a daughter of the King. I am a Princess with Keys to the Kingdom. I have a seat at His banquet table. I have access to His riches... and finally my Daddy loves me and He will goto EXTRAVAGANT links to make SURE that I dont ever doubt that for too long!

I. Am. Loved. Its still sinking in. But I know today without a doubt that its true.

My 6Yr Old!!

2011-10-26T14:47:00.000-07:00

So it was 6 yrs ago today that I was in the hospital waiting for my little guy to make his appearance... he actually wasn't born till 2:39am on the 27th, but it was at this point 6 yrs ago that I was about to become a mom! I still remember thinking about what he would look like, what his personality would be, and thinking about all the unknowns of motherhood.

Now, 6 short years later, here I am, the proud mom of a Kindergartener!

I have learned so much in this short time and I can't imagine my life without my favorite little man in it. I'm feeling nostalgic, but I only have a little bit before I have to go pick him up from school... his last day as a 5 yr old!

So here are some random thoughts (in no order) that I have as I think about the last 6 yrs:

I'm so lucky to have been blessed w such a sweet natured baby. He has always been so good natured and people compliment me on him wherever we go.
Nate is an independent little kiddo. If he wants water - he goes to the kitchen, gets his cup out of the (low) drawer and fills it up! He's super resourceful too! If he wants something on the top shelf, he WILL figure out how to get to it!
He has the BEST laugh! Another thing folks have always commented on. When he gets going, everyone around has a smile because of my little guys' laugh.
He's very mechanical - he LOVES building and creating. I love watching his little mind work - esp when it comes to elaborate creations involving train tracks, or legos, or Trio blocks.
He is creative! He loves to dress up! He loves to color and make cards for people and is super meticulous.
He is super smart - loves to learn! He is one of the top 3 readers in his class and the teacher is impressed he reads and writes really well (usually if kids read well, they need help writing, etc)
He may not love dogs, but he pays attention to babies - he loves interacting with kids that are smaller than him! I love watching him with 1 yr olds!
He is highly relational. Love that he loves our neighbors and is happy playing from the minute we get home till its dark!
He loves Jesus! I love that he has already asked Jesus into his heart (last yr) and loves to jump up and do our devotional in the morning. I love that when he sees people at church worship, he wants to imitate them - whether it be by lifting his hands or kneeling on the ground. So sweet. I love that he has faith that God will heal when I tell him I have a headache and that he'll pray for me (and others) in such a sweet way.
He loves music! He would be happy if his playlist on the ipod was on ALL DAY LONG! He also loves to listen to cd's and I'm pretty sure he would have one on all the time if he could! He also always comes home from church singing the new songs he's heard.. one time and he has them memorized! So sweet!

Ok Thats about all I can think of at the moment about my kiddo... he's pretty spectacular!! I'm so blessed God chose me to be his mommy! He is truly my little GIFT!! (which is what his name means in Hebrews)

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy!!

Love you!

Mommy!

Why Use a Travel Agent? -- Part 3

2011-10-09T08:07:00.000-07:00

Again -I DID NOT WRITE THIS - but thought it was good. Find the original article here.

Why Use a Travel Professional?

Let's finish with a little story...
No different than most of the rest of us, Bill wanted a fantastic vacation at a fantastically low price. Bill is pretty web savvy, and he had spent hours searching for the vacation he wanted. Our agent went to work and coordinated the entire trip: Airfare, rental car, the resort, and all the excursions. When all was said and done, Bill was presented with anincredible value.

However, Bill was convinced that he could get a better price. So he went back out to the web in search of a better deal. And indeed he found it-airfare that was $20 per seat lower than what our agent had found for him. So he booked it.

Problems:On the way there...
• Bill's flight arrived at the airport in the middle of the night (after several delays and connections)
• By the time he landed, the car rental company was closed for the night
• Bill's bags didn't make it to his destination

On the way home...
• His flight left very early in the morning
• Due to the distance from the airport, he had to leave the resort at 3:00 am
• The car rental company was not open yet

Physical Results:• Bill had to spend the first night near the airport
• Bill had to spend the last night near the airport
• Bill had to rent his car from a more expensive company
• The web site that Bill booked his travel through didn't offer travel insurance to pay for replacing his missing items
• Bill's 7-night stay at the resort was now a 5-night stay

Monetary Results:Bill saved $40 on the airfare by booking it himself
Bill spent an additional $300 on:
• The two nights near the airport
• The rental car
• Replacing clothes and other personal items that never made it to his destination

Net Result:

• Bill's vacation was $260 more than it would have been if he had just booked the package that our agent had coordinated.

Travel agents know what it takes to coordinate a great vacation that is the best value for you. We live by the motto "you get what you pay for" so, do you want to spend a little more for a great trip or waste a couple thousand on the cheapest option?

If you'd like to book a trip - email me at tiffany@sendmeouttravel.com or call 214.207.2562. I"d love to help you plan your next vacation!

Why Use a Travel Agent? -- Part 2

2011-10-08T08:05:00.000-07:00

This is a continuation. If you missed Part 1, click HERE.

I found this on another agent's website (here)- but thought it'd be good to share w my friends:

Why Use a Travel Professional?

3. Show me the Money (I saved)

Saving money is not just about price. It is more about value. If the hotel was not the right location, if the cruise line was not the right cruise line, if the golf course was not the right golf course.it does not matter how much you saved. One can save a ton of money and be miserable or spend a little more to be in heaven. A travel agent can recommend relevant offerings and also provide cost saving strategies. Moving a date, changing the location of a room/cabin, being open to flight options, etc., all can save money. Nobody wants to pay more than necessary so an agent will help you find the best value without the sacrifices of a cheap trip.

4. I already have a Job!

If you have an agent that you trust, then you don't need to spend what little free time you have, scouring the web, trying to piece everything together-- flights, cars, rooms, etc. In addition, your agent might be working with transfer and car rental companies that you simply don't have access to, and in many cases, even hotels and airlines that you don't have access to. An agent is someone who has taken the time and made the commitment to be the best so you don't have to make planning your vacation a second job!

Why Use a Travel Agent? -- Part 1

2011-10-07T07:59:00.000-07:00

I found this on another agent's website (here)- but thought it'd be good to share w my friends:

Why Use a Travel Professional?

In the technology age of find it quick and easy on-line, you may be thinking, why should I use a travel agent? So to help you answer that question here are our favorite reasons:

1. Who Ya Gonna Call?

What would you do if the hotel has lost your reservation? What would you do if the car rental agency has run out of cars? Specifically, who are you going to call? Who's going to help you? The hotel? The car rental company? They don't care. You're just one person. Losing you as a guest or a customer is no big deal. Basically, you're on your own. About all you can do is hit the streets and hope that something comes up...

If you book through a travel agent, all you have to do is make one simple phone call. And everything will be taken care of. Will the hotel assist your agent? Will the car rental company assist your agent? Of course they will, because now they're dealing with someone who has the potential to send either hundreds of guests, or no guests at all. From a purely business perspective, a travel agency can send thousands of dollars (or even tens of thousands of dollars), or no dollars at all...

2. It is not just about price

You look to travel agents to provide the best overall solution to your individual travel needs. By asking tons of questions up front, an agent can provide a relevant needs assessment. This can include dates, quality or location of accommodation or stateroom, cancellation policy, recreational amenities, the ease of doing business, etc. No two customers are alike. What works for one may not work for another.

Look for part 2 coming tomorrow!!

My New Job(s)!!

2011-10-06T07:59:00.000-07:00

Introducing:: Tiffany Hines -

Photographer, Travel Agent, & Sign Salesperson

So most of my friends know that I've recently quit a great job at a local church to pursue more of the passions God has placed on my heart.

I had another BHAP (big hairy audacious prayer) that I could:: do something that I loved, be creative, help people, make more money than I did before in less hours, be able to pursue volunteer opportunities, be able to pick Nate up every day so he didn't have to goto an afterschool program, and be able to invest in people!

At first, this was really scary! I didn't know what I'd be doing or where I'd make my money - but HE IS FAITHFUL!!

So - what am I doing now?

Well - a LOT of things!! I'm juggling all sorts of hats these days and I LOVE it! I'm going to fill you in!

Tiffany Dawn Photography - Photographer

First, I'm working on growing my photography skills and clientele - as well as my portfolio/web presence. This one is going to be a slow process as I have felt like its something I will enjoy doing (hopefully as a job & ministry to families) for years to come! I've talked to a few people that have really encouraged me to pursue all that God has for me in this area and I'm excited to see what he wants to do w that! If you know anyone in the DFW area that would like to do either Fall Pictures w their families or Christmas Card pictures, I'm booking now!!

Send Me Out Travel - Travel Agent

Second, I'm now getting to work in one of the coolest industries - TRAVEL! So far I've booked trips to Mexico, Iraq, China and can't wait to book many many more! I'm going to be blogging about why you would use a travel agent in the future - just so you know more abut what I do and why, because I had many questions before I got started of why anyone in my generation would want/need a travel agent! Obviously, I saw the "why" and joined up w my good friend David Gladney as an agent in his company. And now from honeymoons to weekend getaways; hotel stays to flights to car rentals; to cruises and all-inclusive resorts - I can help you with your next trip!

Amplify Designs - Banners/Signs Sales

Third, I am working with another good friend, Kenten Waldrum, doing sales for his sign company. He specializes in Church Banners & Signs and does great work! I used this company all the time when I was at Shiloh and now get to help other churches get banners and things for their congregation. So if you know any churches or ministries that are looking to do some banners, let me know - or have them go online to see some of our stock banners. We customize all our banners (sizing, adding logos, changing text or background, etc) at no extra charge to the customer and I've been surprised at how fast our turnaround time is!

So as you can see, I'm staying busy - and if you know me, you know I LOVE that!! I'm also picking up Nate from school every day at 3:15 from Kindergarten which is something I was LONGING to do but did not see any way that would EVER be possible as a Single Working Mom! BUT my God is bigger than my circumstances! God made a way for me to do this and to have that sweet time w Nate after school as we play on the playground or go get a treat & I get to hear about his day, help with his homework (yes Kinder has homework!?), and play w my little man! God is SO good! I am so thankful!

After a month of this, I am LOVING this change. I feel like I'm exactly where the Lord wants me and its so fun and freeing! AND on top of that - last month I made $45 more than I would have at my old job! Its just $45, but still- I felt like it was God's assurance that His hand is in this and HE is my provider!

1 Chronicles 29:11-12 says: for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, LORD, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all. ¹² Wealth and honor come from you; you are the ruler of all things. In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all.

IF you would keep me in mind as you hear about people planning trips, needing pictures, or displays for their ministries - I'd appreciate referrals!

Contest - UPDATE!

2011-09-28T06:50:00.000-07:00

Ok so my last post (almost a mo ago) was about this contest I'm in for a new fancy photography website. Well, the contest is ALMOST OVER (friday) and I had the lead the entire time... until......Last weekend! My opponent who is quite talented as well has somehow SOARED past me in the last few days and I've been scrambling to catch up.

Right at this moment - I have 388 "votes" (or LIKES) and she has... 461.

I have 1500 friends on Facebook... but I'm not sure how to convince all of them to click on my photo and like it by Friday! Anyone have any ideas? I need some help!!

If you haven't already voted - I have great news for you! Facebook just made it so you dont even have to like the Host page to vote. AND if you have a Business page on FB, you can vote under that profile too!

To vote:
*Pretty sure you have to already have a FB acct and be logged in
1. Click link below
2. Click LIKE below my photo
3. Share w your friends/family/co-workers to help me win!!
Vote Here!!

CONTEST

2011-08-29T09:42:00.000-07:00

I need your help!! There's a facebook contest for a free Photography website valued at $3500! I submitted a picture and need you to LIKE it on Facebook!

This is what you do:

Click this link
I think you have to LIKE the hosting page (Exquiture)
Like my actual photo (is a little girl w a hat and has a watermark that says Tiffany Dawn Photography)
Share with your friends so I have a better chance of winning!! :) PLEASE!

The one w the MOST like's by SEpt 30 wins the free blog. It would be FABULOUS if I could get that since I'm pursuing photography more now!

Check out a sample of what my site could look like here: http://juliekraaiphotography.com/
Fabulous right??

I NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!

Thanks,
Tiff

crib crafts

2011-07-15T09:16:00.001-07:00

So I dont post a lot... but I never really intended to.....and kinda only talk when i have something I think is sorta significant.

HOWEVER, today - this blog post is to share a link i discovered today! I think my bloggie friends might like some of these super creative ideas!!

Enjoy: http://consignmentmommies.com/_blog/Consignment_Sale_Advice/post/30_Fabulous_Reuses_amp;_Repurposes_for_Old_or_Recalled_Cribs/#.Th2oR4Orvas.facebook

Birthday FREEBIES 2011

2011-06-06T13:48:00.000-07:00

Ok so I have ALWAYS ALWAYS loved birthdays. I actually dont even know why... but they just get me excited! I like planning parties and going above and beyond to make them special, unique, memorable!

Last year was my 30th and I LOVED my bday party. The party was PERFECT - almost like a Mini-Wedding! So fun!! So this year, I'm turning 31 and realized my excitement is not quite as high as it usually is. (Case in point- its 1 wk from my bday and I haven't even really thought about the party a whole lot. No ideas. Its just blank!)

This year I've decided its my goal to use as MANY bday Freebies as I can before they expire! Here's a list of Freebies I've gotten so far. Most are by EMAIL from email clubs. I'll be updating this at the end of my attempts to use them all! Stay Tuned!

Hint: To join these, simply goto the website and look for their "club" links and sign up. I use a separate email address so as not to clog my NORMAL email with offers and coupons all the time.

Mommy Moment

2011-05-23T07:43:00.000-07:00

On the way to school this morning, Nate's in the backseat (duh) and he starts a convo:

Nate: "Mom, today after school can we goto White Rock Lake? Just Us?"
Me: "Maybe. But how come?" (he NEVER wants to goto the lake - even when I suggest it!)
Nate: "So we can talk."
Me: "oh really? You want to go talk?" (the last time I suggested that he and I just hang out and talk - he wasn't too fond of that idea either.)
Nate: "Ya. Just you and me. We can goto the lake and talk for a little bit. And then we can go home."
Me: "well, sure Nate. We can stop at the lake on the way home today. I'd love to hang out with you and talk."
Nate: "Yay!!"

Ah the sweet moments that make the more difficult ones not matter anymore. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to our little lake date this afternoon to "Talk" to my baby boy!

Knocking on Doors

2011-04-25T14:19:00.000-07:00

Ok so I blogged a while ago on Ask, Seek, Knock - if you missed it, it was a 4 part blog of history and current thoughts on the verse in Matthew that you're probably pretty familiar with. See earlier blog here: part 1, part 2, part 3, and part 4. Today I was thinking about knocking and how you knock on different doors in different ways.

I realized the other day that a part of me (with little faith) thinks that the door pictured above is essentially what I'm "knocking" on. A Triple Locked metal door surrounded by hard tile, covered by a fence so you can't even knock on the actual door. You'd have to POUND for a while to be heard... OR be expected in order to get in.

I'd like to believe I were knocking on something a little prettier... simpler... maybe less hurdles (read: locks/gates/security devices) like this cute little door:

But then if I'm honest with myself... I really still think I'm at LEAST knocking on something like this... maybe not a gate on the outside- but several places that need to be unlocked by one with a key to get in.

This one might be better... it still has a lock but just one... and the door looks like its pretty worn and prob easy to get through.

But then why should I expect it to be SO hard, locked SO tight? I'm gonna have to pray about that one and why I expect God to keep things from me.

Today I'm hoping and choosing to believe for the time being that the door I'm knocking on is like this one. This looks like a place I wouldn't mind standing outside of for a while. Its not too intimidating, scary, and looks like it could inspire creativity. Its simple... but it has beauty in its own way. This is my door.

I'm ready for it to be unlocked...

or to at least get a glimpse what's behind it.

*all photos taken by me in Peru last Summer.

Look alike?

2011-04-07T12:53:00.000-07:00

So i couldn't figure out who I thought Nate looked like today in his little bowtie... then it hit me...

remember that little guy that says "Ze Plane, Ze Plane" on Fantasy Island? Ya... that guy!!

Found a picture to prove it. Its a bit uncanny! :)
haha

Picture Day

2011-04-07T08:53:00.000-07:00

Ok so maybe I'm getting a bit of the blog 'bug'... but i just wanted to post about a significant event in the life of my little man!

See this face!?

Notice something new? A LOOSE TOOTH!!!

And just one day later - Wednesday- the tooth fell out (at school after nap time).

This is his first toothless pic!! He's super excited.

And guess what? The very next day was Thursday... PICTURE DAY - OF COURSE!

Here's what he looked like this morning:

He picked out the bow tie and everything. We even Gelled his hair bc its too long! : )

Here's a pic of him and this cute little girl LOLA (the one nate smiles about!) She's the only other girl in the class to have lost teeth- so of course they share an instant bond. I got them to take this picture while waiting for the REAL pics today....

AWWW aren't they cute!? Funny story though- when I tell her to put her arms on his shoulder she says "Uh... this is kinda weird!" Oh sweet girl! Ya, I guess it kinda is!! :)

And now for some nostalgia... I think the bowtie might be from nate's 1 yr old pics. Or if its not, it looks the same anyway.... So it seemed fitting to post a couple of them. You can see how cute he was (and still is) and how much he's changed!! Back then I think he only had like 8 teeth... now we're starting to lose teeth! CRAZY what changes in just 4 yrs!

He's so tiny! I kinda think the bowtie makes him look like a waiter. Too bad the vest didnt' fit anymore but Nate's torso is getting LONG!!

Now for some quick comparison shots:

Fall 2006

Spring 2011

Fall 2006

Spring 2011

he did this piano pose on his own BTW... I didn't coerce him at all. But it just triggered the memory of the 1 yr old pic! Sweet boy!

Oh my! My baby isn't a baby anymore!!!

What am I gonna do w him!!

Children's Faces

2011-04-06T16:14:00.000-07:00

Ok so after editing a few more photos from the Garden party, I realized I really enjoy taking pics of kiddos faces, expressions, etc. So I've posted a few on my FB page but I figure I'll post some here for those of you that aren't "friends" with me on FB. Let me just say - My friends have BEAUTIFUL children!! It makes it easy to capture great shots when your kiddos are so photogenic!

First we have a couple more of Sparrow & Eli

Next we have Miss Sarah who is just a doll & super expressive & playful.

She's definitely used to the camera!

And then there's her brother- cutie patootie Wilson:

And then there's sweet red headed Felice - rockin the pink hat!

And of course- I gotta throw in one of my own kiddo from the party.

He's pretty handsome if I do say so myself! :)

Ok I'm sure there are more to come. I'm not even to the 1/2way point on the photos!! But its been so fun to go through and process them!! I really enjoyed shooting this Garden Party!

Garden Party

2011-04-05T13:48:00.000-07:00

So last weekend I got to attend my very first "garden Party" - aka a psuedo tea party for a beautiful 3 yr old!

I was excited to be asked to photograph the event with the stipulation that the more photos the better! (my fav!!)

I did my best to document everything from beginning to end and seriously enjoyed trying to be creative and capture the feel of the party. I am just now getting to edit my photos - so I wanted to post a few of my favs on here. (per Christy & Amy's prodding to use this space for pictures too! Thanks girls! Ps I love your pics of this same party!)

I'm really just getting started w the editing and dont have a ton of spare time to get through all the HUNDREDS of photos I took - remember - she said "the more the better!!" and I totally complied!!

Here are some of the prep photos from the party.

And of course, we have to have one of the bday girl. This might be one of my new fav pics of ALL TIME! I only wish she'd been smiling at the time of this shot. But I still think the photo is great!

And then just for fun- here's her adorable brother:

What do you think of my first round of photos?

Ask, Seek, Knock - pt 1

2011-03-09T18:10:00.000-08:00

Since my last post, I felt like God wanted me to share something else... so here I am.

Most of us are familiar with the verse in Matthew, but I'll put it here just for a refresher:

⁷ “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
⁹ “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? ¹¹ If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Ok so after my last post letting you all know the "big secret" - that I'm asking hard core for my husband - I've been pondering this verse.

For a long time I dont think I understood why Ask, Seek, & Knock were all in the same sentence. In my book, they just seemed like a reiteration of the same point. However, recently, I have come to realize that maybe that isn't the case.

Lets go back to my previous BHAPS and how God worked them out: my car and my home. They go hand in hand... and its kinda a long story... so Maybe I'll split them up.

The Volvo:
In 2008 I was working a Commission only job and money came sporadically. As a single parent, I was having a tough time keeping up with bills on this income and therefore the car that I was making payments on became too much to bear. It was Repo'd. I came outside one day and it just wasn't there. That was a bad day! BUT God had better for me. My BHAP was: God I need reliable transportation for cheap and SOON.

I opened up to my co leaders in a lifegroup pre meeting. It was humbling, humiliating, embarassing. I was failing at something and needed help, needed prayer. Because I made my needs known quickly in community, my needs were met! My co-leader at the time calls me the next day and says "My roommate has a Volvo that has just been sitting at our Apt. He got a new car a while ago and doesn't need it. I think he will just give it to you." Uh - WHAT? Who just GIVES AWAY cars?

My dad goes to check out the car & even though its been sitting for 6 mo or so- its in decent shape and we end up spending only $1000 to get the car running, inspected, etc. The car was a 95, but it was great, safe, reliable, sturdy. It even had leather seats and a moon roof. BHAP answered.

The Accident:
The volvo was awesome... but then I was coming home from hanging out with friends one night and a guy backed into me in the parking lot of my apt complex. That night I cried thinking God's great gift was destroyed and now I was at the end of my rope and was again car-less. I remember feeling devastated and hopeless. However, GOD works all things for Good!

It ended up being the other guys' fault. The car was "totaled" according to his insurance and it was worth $4500. I got a windfall of money from this FREE car and was able to pay for other things I needed. I put over half in savings. I hadn't had savings since my sales job depleted it. The other bonus was that the car still ran! My dad is an amazing mechanic and fixed the car where I could drive it!

The Turn:
So the accident was in April 09, and I was able to drive the car all the time. However, it had some body damage - something that didnt bother me a bit, but it did bother my apt complex. It hadn't been a problem because I was gone all day every day at work and returned when the office was closed. UNTIL... one random day in August when my son was home sick and I got a note on my car saying I had 20 days to get my car fixed or it would be towed anytime it was spotted on property. Again- this was DEVASTATING! I was mad. I didn't know what I was going to do. I went and talked to the management and they told me that after the 20 days passed, my car would be looked for... and if found on property at any time day, night, or weekend, it would be towed. But, GOD works all things for Good.

Stay tuned for part 2....

Ask, Seek, Knock - pt 2

2011-03-09T17:37:00.000-08:00

Ok so I'm in the middle of my story about BHAPS and cars/houses... go back to pt 1 if you missed it and read that first. I'm splitting it up bc its long!

The Camry
So there I am at the apts not sure what the next 3 weeks would hold and how I could get a car. I did now have savings and felt like the Lord told me I could spend $2000 on a car. It didnt' make sense to spend that on the current car... so I started looking. At first I was looking for a Honda, but then after taking one to a mechanic, I was told to look for a Camry bc of their reliability and their being easier/cheaper to work on when they break. So I search auto mags, talk to friends, make my needs known, look at Craigslist, etc. I found some cars that were 2500 and up that looked decent but honestly felt like the Lord only wanted me to spend $2000. I wasn't sure how he was going to pull that off. I was scared... because everything I found in the 2k range was kinda ghetto, run down, lots of miles, looked unreliable.

Randomly, I just fell on an ad that was for a Camry. Its the car I now drive. It was exactly $2000. It had only one owner for the last 15 yrs. It had every single receipt from every single tire, tune up, oil change. It was kept in the garage most of its life. It even had a brand new (3 week old) cd system installed with Aux input (that I could use w my ipod!) This was DEFINITELY a step up!! It was a GREAT car. I bought it the day i saw it and was giddy with thankfulness! God provided better than I could have imagined. Better than I should have been able to afford (like models with same mileage/features were typically 1000-1500 more on EVERY search site). And this happened in the 20 day time limit! AND I got to sell the Volvo and made $900 to put back in savings. EXTRA BLESSINGS!! BHAP answered!

Stay tuned for pt 3 about the House.

Ask, Seek, Knock - pt 3

2011-03-09T17:20:00.000-08:00

The House

Because of what happened w the Volvo and my apt, I was annoyed! I joked about moving. My dad said "I wish you would." I was surprised. It didn't seem like I'd really be able to afford moving. I barely got by on my own at the apt and surely a house would be more expensive. My pastor said "You know, it would be good for Nate to move to an area and stay there for longer than a year. It would provide more stability." And two different friends within two days of each other said "You should look into the area around Stonewall, I've heard great things about that school." It was (not so) random comments like these that led me to where I am now. It created another BHAP.

My BHAP for a house was this: I want a safe place where Nate can play. I want a backyard. I want a home where I can entertain and host parties. I want a small garage or storage of some sort so I can get my stuff from my parents. And it'd be awesome if I could have an ice maker.

It was a HARD 4 months as I asked God for this new home. It was faith building, but it was gut wrenching, it was discouraging, it was hopeless at times, it was tiring, it was scary... but in the end - it was so worth it.

I told people what I was looking for. I talked to realtors. I looked at places. I prayed about roommates. I asked people. I searched online. I had a friend that went with me one day up and down every single street in the Stonewall school zone and we called every single house with a sign out front. None of them were valid possibilities.

Two years earlier before I got into the Apt, I had seen this adorable house at the end of a cul de sac - just down the street from my pastor. It had roses out front and a lamp post. It had a porch and a back yard. It was adorable. I fell in love with it instantly. BUT we called about it then and it was $1450/mo for a 2 br 1 bath. WAY out of my price range. When I started searching again, I kept driving down by this house. It was still for rent but it was 1350. Still too much. The day we drove up and down the neighborhood, this was the only house we could look at as the key was in the mailbox. I still loved it. IT was PERFECT. God can I PLEASE have this house?? PLEASE? I hear: This will be your home.

The Process:

So I began the process of applying, packing, etc. I turned in my notice at the Apt and my move out date was set. By Jan 10, 2010, I had to be OUT of my apt - there was no going back! However, there was a problem... we didn't "have" the new house yet. IT took forever to get applications reviewed, talk with landlords, work out pricing, etc. Christmas and New Years were in the midst of that time and just made things take longer. Also, with my bad credit (from the years in commission and struggling to make ends meet), I wasn't the best looking renter. But I was determined that was my house- the Lord said so. We made plans like we were moving there even though we didn't get the "Ok" from the landlord yet.

On New Years I was recruiting friends & family to come move us. "Where are you moving to?" they would ask... I'd just say "Not sure yet.. but I know I'm gonna have to go somewhere that day!" I'm pretty sure they all thought I was crazy. It was kinda funny to me. In my heart I was still believing for this house- but it was also fully submitted to the Lord and I knew that he could say NO or Not right now, or do something different than I was expecting. STill, I kept planning, packing, and recruiting. I kept claiming his goodness and tried to keep the anxiousness and tears at a minimum. I knew he initiated and orchestrated the whole thing (from the day at home where they put the note on my car about towing - all the way to Jan 10th - whatever it would entail!) I knew he would provide for me.

The Move:

Jan 10 was a Saturday. The Wednesday before that, I got an email from the landlord saying we were not approved for the house based on my credit and my offer for rent (I offered him 1050/mo and apparently their lowest number was 1125). My heart sunk... but I still felt peace and like God was saying it was still my house. It didn't make sense. I kept packing, praying and planning to move.

Thursday we emailed back asking if we could do 1125 and pay 6 mo up front to lessen their risk since I did have bad credit. He FINALLY said ok. We were going to have to borrow the other 5 mo rent from a friend so that was a whole other ordeal. Thursday was a SUPER stressful day. We got the house, but it wasn't all that joyful because of all the crazy details. Friday we keep packing and getting everything ready. Saturday morning we were set to move in. My family & friends showed up, I told them where we were headed and we got to work loading. My roommate and another friend went to the house to clean, etc. We still hadn't even seen the lease or gotten the keys, but the landlord said it was fine.

Saturday mid- morning he calls me. As he's fixing our paperwork, he asks "Are you sure you want to pay the 6 mo up front?" I quickly say ... "well... no... but don't we have to because of credit?" He says "no, I think its fine. Just give me the deposit and first month today and we'll go from there.

I was so excited I cried!! We got our house and we didn't have to borrow any money and it was OURS!! My God never fails me. The ICING on the cake was when I got there to unload the first load and checked out the kitchen... THERE WAS AN ICE MAKER!!!!!!! Oh how my Jesus loves me! :)

This house has been a place of safety, its been a place to host parties, its been a place to develop community and friendships among neighbors, a place for Monday afternoon play dates with 4 other kids Nate's exact age.. and I have room for my stuff from storage! And I even have an ice maker! BHAP answered!

The Moral:

He is teaching me how to trust Him. He is showing me that he WANTS to provide for me. He is showing me that he wants to meet my concrete needs as well as my needs for community, for security, for a HOME. He even wants to give me the silly stuff that I don't need- like a cool CD player in the Camry and an Ice Maker in the car. (and even my camera that he gave me - see the post titled Good Gifts for that story)

So after stories like this that are mine... not even someone else's story that I overheard... but a story I LIVED...WHY do I still have a hard time trusting that he has GOOD for me or that he will REALLY answer my BHAP? Its really silly! I have more proof in FAVOR of an answered BHAP than NOT in favor of it. The odds are on my side! :)

Stay tuned for part 4...

Ask, Seek, Knock - pt 4

2011-03-09T17:10:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: this post won't make sense if you didn't read the last 3 - unless you walked with me through the last couple of years! You might want to skim them before reading this one!
***********************************************************

Ok so what does all these stories have to do with the verse I posted on Pt 1 - Matthew 7:7-11?
EVERYTHING!!

The Lord used these examples last week to remind me that he didn't just GIVE me what I asked for on each of these examples.

Actually- now that I think of it, these are a perfect example of the verse:

The Volvo- all I did was present a need - or ASK, and the car basically fell in my lap. I didn't even have time (or a need) to look for a solution.

Ask and it will be given to you;

The Camry - this was an example of searching for a solution - or SEEK. I had to put some effort into finding the right car this time. God gave me clues (like the mechanic who recommended a Camry, the $2000 limit, etc) and ultimately he had me in the right place at the right time to find this car on craigslist and get it just in time.

Seek and you will find;

The House - this was a little tougher than just presenting a need or looking online. I really had to fight to get the house I felt like He was giving me. I had to be persistent. I had to be creative. I had to be SURE he was calling me to THIS place because all signs were pointing to NO just days before I moved in! It wasn't just a matter of being in the right place at the right time... it was about not taking no for an answer and almost exhaustedly knocking down the door till I was able to call my house "home" and claim my promise!

Knock and the door will be opened to you.

And the promise to ALL of us if we will abide by these 3 principles is this: everyone who asks receives;

the one who seeks finds;

and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Praise GOD!

So this is why I have faith that asking for my spouse is a good, holy thing. And so far, I believe I've asked him, and I have tried to seek who He would have for me by dating when he has said date, and by going online if/when he says that. So it looks like its about time to start knocking (banging anyone??) on the door of heaven to see promises fulfilled! I'm claiming a spouse by the end of 2011! And I really hope he's excited to see just how much he's been contended for when we are both led to each other at the perfect time!

What are you KNOCKING for?? Do you trust that He is good? I'd love to hear and be praying for you too! Feel free to email me privately at tiffanydawnhines@gmail.com.

BHAPS & Husbands

2011-02-25T15:08:00.000-08:00

So i've talked about these before. BHAPS. BIG HAIRY AUDACIOUS PRAYERS.

Former BHAPS include: a reliable cheap car when mine wrecked, a digital camera when mine broke, a cute house in a good neighborhood (with several specific requests including an ice maker in the freezer), then a DSLR camera, then a mac, then another car.

God has answered EACH of those things with BETTER than I asked for. He has provided in ways I couldn't even have imagined at the time. So why am I so hesitant of continuing to ask... or even to put out there (like I've done in the past) that I'm asking? I have no idea- but this post was SO hard to start!!!

So that is what this post is about. Another BHAP. This is my current one... A Husband.

This isn't a "I'm 30 and single and need a man to complete me." or a "gotta find a dad for Nate before he's too old" or even a "i'm tired of everyone getting engaged around me and its my turn." Honestly, its none of those things. Its more that I am ready to share all of my life with someone, all of me with someone. I want a best friend and a partner - in life and in ministry.

I feel like the Lord has taken me through a lot of things in the last several years. He has solidified my identity in Him (not that I won't need reminders every now and then!) and He has given me just an overwhelming peace and joy in Him. He's placed me in a community that runs towards Him and that encourages me to do the same. He's restored me from confusion, desolation, brokenness. He has healed relationships in my family. He has deepened my friendships. He has taught me a little about submission. He's shown me what it is to love someone unconditionally and that it isn't easy. He has opened my eyes to people around me. He has given me a heart to pray for people I care for, marriages I care for, families I care for. He has shown me purpose and vision.

So now that I feel like I'm complete & I'm sure of what I want, where I am, who He is in Me, & of who I am... I'm whole. (or at least moving towards wholeness) - its not so much that I'm dying to 'not be alone' or even the "gotta find mister RIGHT. " I just want to share who I am, what I love, etc with a man the way God intended.

In Genesis He saw what He made and it was good... but then he saw it wasn't good for man to be alone. Even the sinless man who lived in perfect community with God. He gave his first 'son' the gift of a wife - created just for him. To my knowledge, Adam didn't even ASK for it... but God met his need for relationship anyway. Thats just how He is!

I'm part of a lifegroup that is full of younger married couples (most with 1 or more kids) and I feel like its EXACTLY the group I'm supposed to be part of... I love the depth, I love watching the kids, the families interact, etc... and yet- I feel like part of me is missing when I'm there. Dont get me wrong- I am not saying I dont fit in... I"m saying I LITERALLY feel like I'm missing something that is supposed to be there - like I'm there but my right arm isn't. It is the weirdest thing. It doesn't create discontentment in me... but more a just a deep hope and longing for that 'right arm' to be part of the group as well.

He has given me desires and visions for my future. Even for my community, my lifegroup, etc. Those dreams desires involve a faithful man that will stand beside me, raise a family with me, run after God with me. I believe my dreams are good. They are valid. Its valid for me to want 1-2 more kids (and even valid for Nate to want a brother and a sister as he so freely tells people). And my daddy God who loves me more perfectly than my earthly father could or more completely than I could love Nate wants to give me things that would delight my heart. Why else would he have given me new cameras and a great car and the perfect little house in a cul de sac with an ice maker? BECAUSE He LOVES Me!

So because He loves me, I'm going to continue to ask for what my heart desires.

And until I see it, in Faith, I'm going to talk about it, actively ask, actively pray and KNOCK [pound!?] on the door of heaven that he would meet my current BHAP better than I ever could imagine. I'd appreciate your prayers and wisdom as well... (and would love it if you'd comment your thoughts on this post so I don't feel so weird putting it all out there not knowing who read it!!! :)

And as a side note- if anyone feels led to introduce me to or set me up with a single Man of God who loves to worship and who's heart beats for the Lord... I'm open to blind dates! :)

Because I must!

2011-02-22T12:37:00.000-08:00

Ok so my blog is boring!! Really. I started it bc that way I could have a central place w EVERYONES blog address and could see at a glance who updated so I didn't waste my days checking every individual address just longing for a post to read. Not sure why... but I did do taht for a while!! :)

So then... I decided to keep track of my journey to "become a runner" but kinda gave up that vision.... then it was to track how I was making changes to be healthy... but I"m not doing great in that area either. So then it was more about spiritual change/growth and sweet things God has done lately to show me He loves me... like answering my BHAPS (see lots of earlier posts for stories of His faithfulness and provision)...

I didn't want it to be the typical mom/family/brag about your kid blog... though i'm not sure why bc I don't miss a SINGLE post of all of you bloggers that I stalk on the left side of my page. Somehow I just feel like my life wouldn't be that exciting... or maybe its that there's too much pressure to keep it up... or... who knows!!

So now I'm not sure what to do with it... and pretty sure no one really even reads it...

But one thing I"m fairly certain of (judging from the way my heart is pounding now just at the thought of typing the next entry)... I'm supposed to blog about a specific prayer that has been on my heart. I felt like God told me to be vulnerable... to put myself out there. But I dont want to!!!

I really dont want to type the next blog. I want to be obedient. But I reallly really really dont want to type what I feel like I'm supposed to. And more than that- I dont want to click the big orange "PUBLISH POST" button when I finish it. Its really not THAT big of a deal and so logically i know this... however... for some reason it totally freaks me out to type something personal and post it without having control over who reads it, or even KNOW who reads it...

So... stay tuned to see if God wins or the Anxiety wins!! Hopefully God will win bc I know that His way is always better... and he ALWAYS wants the best for me. I know this... but the anxiety is still there. You guys are going to think its silly when the post actually comes... but to me, its kinda a big deal.

Crafty Moment

2010-12-06T08:10:00.000-08:00

I dont know that this really qualifies for being "Crafty"... but I really wanted a wreath on my door for the holidays.

I've never had a wreath. My mom wasn't huge into decorating for seasons, etc growing up so as I've seen everyone else w their fun festive wreaths I just started to get a bug to have one!

I haven't been shopping for extra decor bc I haven't really gotten everything figured out as far as the Christmas stuff I DO have already and didn't want to go buy stuff I may or may not have space for! BUT I still really wanted a wreath! Well last night, my neighbor offered to let me use one of her extra wreaths for the holiday season!! Very sweet!!

So I took off the wimpy battery operated LED lights *w permission from the neighbor* and made a quick trip to Dollar General for a small strand of lights for $1.50! Once I got the lights on, I wasn't really sure WHAT to do. I just kinda stared at the lit wreath wondering what I'd got myself into! BUT, with all the Christmas stuff I have, I decided I could make something work... So I found this red and silver ribbon and a couple of pre-tied bows from decorations a couple yrs ago.... and some mini balls in red and silver... and some little silver sprigs that were stuck in my tree and went to work!

I also (at the suggestion of my roommate) grabbed an ornament off my decorated tree that said Joy to the World to kinda have a central message. (The ornament was a Christmas stocking gift from my Dad and Step Mom last yr!)

So without further ado, here's a pic of my first holiday creation hanging on my door! Hopefully it won't be my last!

PS- i like the overall look of this, but not sure that I really like the 2 bows. Anyone have any tips/suggestions?

Older Card Projects

2010-11-25T22:43:00.001-08:00

Special Dad Father's Day 5x7 folded card

Unique party invitations and greeting cards by Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

My Home

2010-11-19T10:41:00.000-08:00

Ok so one of my friends asked her readers to write 3 favorite things about "Home". She shared some things she loved and then asked us to do the same.
Here's her prompt:This week, take a look around your house and be grateful for your home. What is it that you love the most? Leave a comment describing three details about your home that bring a smile to your face.

So I realized that my response was prob WAY longer than she really wanted... but as I started typing, I was just so thankful for all these little things!! I decided I'd share it on my blog so I'd have somewhere to go back and read it later! I'm probably going to add on to my original posting (bc I held back in the comment section of Jenny's blog!!)... So here it goes:
I'm thankful for my home!!
Backstory:
I moved in January into my first ever HOUSE (a rental- but still its mine!) and its PERFECT! I prayed about this house for a while. I was pretty specific about the things I desired in our next home. Here was my list: I asked for a safe place for Nate to play. Somewhere we would be able to host events, somewhere with a backyard, somewhere that had storage, somewhere w a W/D in it (and somewhere w an ice maker if possible- but obviously that wasn't a deal breaker!!).
Enter THIS house. I saw it a full year before I ever looked at it seriously. I took a picture of the front of it- roses were in bloom and decorated the white house with green trim just so perfectly! It had an adorable lamp post in the front too! It was perfect!! Well at that time, the house was RIDICULOUSLY expensive!! So I sighed and just kinda went on my way. I ended up in an apt for a while (in the ghetto!) that was definitely a blessing for me and Nate and for our friends who got to come over ALL THE TIME! I was quite content in my little affordable apt! But God had other plans!

Love the little Lamp & the beautiful Roses!

There were so many things that led up to this being our home- but I think I'll save that for another post. In January, (over a yr later from when I first saw and fell in love with it) Nate and I moved into this same adorable little home!! It was totally God’s gift to me (just when I thought I’d NEVER be able to afford a house with a Yard in a safe neighborhood in dallas & that I was destined to live in ghetto scary apts for the rest of my life.)

Finding Home:
Evey Boy needs a Swing Set!
Nate & Reese (neighbor from across the st)
Its in a cul de sac just down the street from my pastor/friend and his family. My son (5 yrs old) now has a backyard and a swingset. Every kid needs a backyard and a swingset!! We’ve only been here since January, but it feels like our entire world has changed because of being in a HOUSE. So I love just about everything about the house (except the fact that I have to share my bathroom w a 5 yr old BOY! ew!! hehe :P).
Nates 5th Bday Party in the Backyard

So my 3 FAVORITE things about my home are:
1. My neighbors. I have neighbors!! Ones you can borrow sugar from and ones your child can play with. Ones that you wave to as you come home for the day and ones you rush outside to spend time with after just throwing your stuff down. Its a whole new world! I have community on my street and I'm trying to be home more to hang out with the neighbors that are out & around! It helps that there are quite a few kiddos running around and mine likes to play with other kiddos! Its been such a blessing to know people that live around you - (and text you if your car lights are on, or even write down license plates of cars where people disappear into your back yard and come out a little later! My friends doing laundry- but still! How great is that!?)
Some of the neighbors that live on the corner

Reese & his mommy, Jennifer live across the Street!

The boys LOVE to ride bikes in the Cul De Sac!
Duncan toddling around the Cul De Sac chasing the big boys!

2. Its a perfect for hosting stuff!! I’ve hosted small dinners (around a DINING TABLE found on craigslist that I LOVE! Ya I have a DINING table and I can do sit down to dinners with up to 12 people around one table!!). I’ve hosted a 5 yr old Bday party(see backyard pics above), a live concert, several 20 something bday parties for friends, and my big 30th bday party- complete with twinkle lights in the backyard, people in fancy clothes, and Paris decor.
Lost Immigrants House Concert

The adoring Fans

Its cool to have a concert in your house!

My Paris Party Backyard
Inside my Paris Party

Dinner w Nate's Grandparents

Fiesta Party Prep

Fiesta Night - AJ & Titos Bday

I love that i can bless my friends by having them in my home and sharing their birthdays and meals and pictures and memories!

3. The Garage! I have a GARAGE!!

This is BEFORE i moved in (when it was empty!)
Its small- just a one car. It has an automatic door, but no opener… so i cant really put my car in there at this point (even if it weren't full of boxes!)… BUT I have a garage. I got all my stuff from my parents house, from their storage over the years, etc and its all in MY garage. Sure- there are so many boxes, its hard to get around in there… but its still MY garage!! and MY stuff. AND in the garage is a washer/dryer! I can do laundry AT my house. After yrs of having to goto a friends or a laundry mat and having to make sure I had enough quarters for the machines in the apt complex… I have my OWN w/d! I can leave my clothes in the dryer overnight if I want to. I can fluff clothes in the morning (instead of ironing!:) and now I”M the house that everyone comes to to do their laundry!! How great is that??!

HIS PROVISION IS ALWAYS BETTER!!
I love my home. But more importantly- i love that God knew EXACTLY what we (Nate & I) needed for this season of life and he provided more than I could have hoped for!
He even provided things I didn’t KNOW i needed/wanted! But now, I’m happy to hang out outside and invest in my neighbors. (i NEVER went outside at the Apts). I’m happy to play with my kiddo and his friends! (Nate didn't have friends that lived at the APT!) I’m happy to do laundry (I dreaded it before... lugging loads down 3 flights of stairs into the car to the laundry mat, staying there for a couple hrs and lugging it back up!) I'm just HAPPY to come HOME!

I Love my home!

This is what I happily come home to every day!

Photos, Cards, & Shutterfly!!

2010-11-12T13:44:00.000-08:00

I love Shutterfly!

So I have gotten a couple of codes to try out new greeting cards online at Shutterfly and LOVED them. The first one I ever did was for Father’s day. I had to upload pics to my Shutterfly account that captured my last yr with my dad.

I uploaded a lot of pictures HERE using the super easy uploader because I didn’t know which ones would look the best together when I picked my card. I always try to have MORe than I need, because it stinks to get part way through your design and have to go hunting for a picture for one specific place. I have actually started using shutterfly to store a lot of my photos online. They make it easy to share with friends and when I go to make cards or prints, my pictures are already loaded!

I also have created several “Share Sites” which is a website (can be password protected which is great for kiddos!) that you can create for free and store lots of pictures on it. Then your friends and family can easily go and view/download/order any of their favorite photos! I LOVE share sites! Here’s one that I’ve recently added pictures to. I created it when our Lifegroup was doing events ALL THE TIME and everyone wanted to see the MANY pictures I took. We also had a calendar and some contact info for the members. It was pretty cool. I don’t think people really used it a whole lot other than to see the pictures, but I liked the concept.

Anyway, I was super pleased with my dad’s cards. I think I like the one from Nate the best. To me, it looks like he’s telling the world “I Love my Grandpa”! Here’s a picture.... what do you think?

So, I’m not very good at making Christmas cards, but I take LOTS of pictures throughout the year so I want to start sending some out for the holidays! This year, I am thinking I will try this card called Joy Sage Story.

I like the modern look of the front and then how the inside will let me put 6 photos and a little blurb about each one of them and feel like it will be a great (easy/quick) representation of the year 2010! I never do newsletters but I always like reading them. I feel like this is a good compromise! Its like a cliff notes of the year! I am already thinking about my six most memorable 2010 moments that will make it to this year’s card.

If you like the inside layout of that card, there are a couple other designs that are similar - like Most Wonderful Story and Joyous Holiday Story. They also do flat cards and of course all sizes of prints.

Anyway, just thought I'd share some of my fav's!

*********************************************

If you have a blog and want 50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly, Click here to go to Shutterfly for information on how you can get 50 free cards this holiday season, and make sure to select Clever 1000 as the referral source.

BHAPS & Mac's!

2010-10-07T11:41:00.000-07:00

Remember how I said I was gonna start praying that someone would give me a mac???

Well... guess what? I got one last night... it needs a replacement battery bc it won't work w out being plugged in- but its an iBook G4!

I'm SO excited!! I dont know taht I really BELIEVED I'd ACTUALLY be GIVEN a MAC Laptop!!

SO now- i just need the software and to get used to the differences of a Mac vs Pc and I'm on my way! :)
Isn't God Cool??? i just wanted to share w you guys!

Photo Blog

2010-09-16T08:42:00.000-07:00

I've decided to start posting some of my work on a tumblr site. I"d LOVE comments from you guys as I get started on what you like, what could be better, etc!!

Check it out by clicking the link below:

Tiffs photog blog - thats: obutiger.tumblr.com

Let me know what you think!! I'm just getting started!

On Becoming a Photographer

2010-09-16T08:34:00.000-07:00

I just got (another) camera!!

This one is the BEST yet!

I am now the proud owner of a DSLR camera!!! (after wanting one since a college class in 03!) Its a Canon Rebel XT - so an older one - prob from '05ish... but hey- it looks like its in decent condition, and it works!! :) AND it was free!!!!!!!!

How did I get it free you ask?? Well, I got a little bit of money for my bday and decided I was going to put it towards a used DSLR. So I posted on FB asking ppl what models they liked, etc and this guy from High School who I was in band with (he was a Sr when I was a freshman and I was friends with his sister) saw my facebook post asking for advice on what used DSLR to look for, etc. So he messages me and says- you can just have mine!

He lives in AZ and even paid to ship the camera. It was a CANON REBEL XT camera body with battery in it & strap... no lens, no battery charger/cords/memory card/case/manual/etc...

In college I took a photography class and had to buy and SLR camera. I got the Canon Rebel film version bc digital was just getting more popular and it was super expensive. I also had a Camera bag already for this camera in college! The bag will work PERFECTLY for all my new stuff- cool huh!?

AND luckily my old FILM Rebel kit zoom lens fit on it - so all i needed to start shooting was a memory card!! I knew I would need a battery charger soon too! So I checked out the battery and started researching what charger I'd need to order, etc. Even thought about getting an extra battery at some point... chargers were about $70, batteries $35 ish.

HOWEVER an extra bonus- the camera a friend gave me that stopped working - the Canon G9 - it had a chargeable battery (with the charger) in it... well the battery is the SAME exact one that this new camera uses meaning - I have 2 batteries and a charger already!! :) Praise the LORD! :)

Oh AND did I mention I already owned a CF card reader from my very first Digital camera (that i haven't used in years!!) and i knew where it was?! Cool huh!? :)

I quickly bought a new lens to play with also- its the 50mm 1.8 that most of my friends use to get the awesome portaits with a "blurry" bg! I found it locally at Competitive Camera in dallas for 99.95+ tax!

AND i realized I didn't have a cord to hook the camera to the TV - so I found one of those online. I also found a Memory card converter that will convert a regular SD card (I have like 4 of these already) to CF format in your camera. I felt like I would rather invest a little in a converter and be able to use the small, easy to find SD cards in my camera instead of the older, more rare CF cards. I take LOTS of pics and now that I'll be shooting in RAW, I'll need more space!!

So this is what I've spent for my camera so far:

Memory Card: $26

50mm f/1.8 lens: $108.00

A/V video cable: $10

CF to SD card converter: $16

Grand total: $160.00

Can you believe it?!! I've spent $160 and I now have everything that follows for my camera:

Canon Rebel XT 8.1 mp complete with Camera bag, Kit Lens, 50mm Lens, 2 batteries, a charger, a video cord, a 4gb CF memory card, a card reader, SD to CF converter, numerous SD cards.

I'm so excited!!! God is SOOO good to me!! Can't wait to start bettering my photography skills!!

I think I'm gonna start praying for a MAC Laptop with Adobe CS5!! Bring on the BHAP! :) (big hairy audacious prayers) and lets see what God wants to do!

They Say its your BIRTHDAY!! : )

2010-06-02T08:45:00.000-07:00

Did you know that lots of places want to give you presents on your birthday!? Well I thought I'd blog about all the emails and offers I'm getting on my birthday this year. You can pick your fav's and goto their site and sign up on their email list. Usually the first time you sign up- you'll also get an additional freebie (like a free appetizer @ on the border, etc). Then its fun to try to figure out how to use them all before they expire.

The list below are all from emails. I have also gotten 2 birthday Freebies in the mail as well this week. One was from Red Hot & Blue and it was a free dinner entree with purchase of another entree and the other was a $10 gift card to Victoria Secret that expires on 6/30/10!! I LOVe free!!

Birthday Freebies

**Update: I'm going to cross them off as I use them! This will be tricky to get them all used before they expire since I"ll be out of the country from Friday, the 4th through June 13th!!! (But I'm gonna try to use as many as possible!!)

Email Received Location FREE Requirements EXPIRES

6/2 -1 wk before Bday Black Eyed Pea Free Appetizer w/Entrée Purchase 6/9/2010

6/2 -1 wk before Bday On The Border Free Dip Trio or Brownie Sundae w/Entrée Purchase 6/16/2010

6/2 -1 wk before Bday Marble Slab Free Regular Cone 6/9/2010

~~6/2 -1 wk before Bday~~ ~~Great American Cookie~~ ~~Free Cookie Cake Slice~~ ~~6/16/2010~~

6/2 -1 wk before Bday Boston Market Free individual dessert w/any meal purchase 6/16/2010

6/2 -1 wk before Bday Smoothie King Free 20oz Smoothie w/purchase of 20oz Smoothie 6/16/2010

6/2 -1 wk before Bday TCBY Free Sm. Cup of Frozen Yogurt 6/16/2010

6/2 -1 wk before Bday Arby's Free 12oz shake w/any purchase 6/16/2010

~~6/2 -1 wk before Bday~~ ~~Schlotzskys~~ ~~Free Small Original Sandwich~~ ~~6/16/2010~~

6/2 -1 wk before Bday Chili's Free Brownie Sundae w/Entrée Purchase 6/16/2010

6/2 -1 wk before Bday Taco Bueno Free 2pk cheesecake chimichangas w/purchase of any platter or combo 6/16/2010

6/2 -1 wk before Bday Texas Land & Cattle Free Appetizer w/Entrée Purchase 6/16/2010

6/2 -1 wk before Bday Spaghetti Warehouse Free Spaghetti Entrée & Free Spumoni Sundae 6/29/2010

6/2 -1 wk before Bday Maggiano's $10 off meal Must be $30 or more 7/2/2010

6/2 -1 wk before Bday Buca di Beppo Free dessert w/Entrée Purchase 7/2/2010

6/2 -1 wk before Bday Texas de Brazil Free dinner w/purchase of full-price dinner 7/2/2010

6/2 -1 wk before Bday Souper Salad Free lunch or dinner buffet 7/2/2010

Week 4, Day 3

2010-05-28T11:20:00.000-07:00

Me, Em & Lisa worked out Wed for Day 3... I felt stronger and made it through the ENTIRE floor work w your legs- even though they BURNED like they were going to FALL OFF!!! (thats the idea right!?!)

I didnt work out Thurs (bad day and had lunch w a friend instead) or today (leaving early for a wedding so I couldnt take a lunch) but I'm going to shoot for Sat, Sun & Monday this weekend at home! THat will mean i skipped 2 days (thurs/fri) but still get in 5 this week. (and kick start next week w Monday's workout)

I'll be taking pics on Tues morning after the weigh in (guess that means I'll put on the same outfit again... man I wish I would have chosen one I liked better!! lol) and HOPEFULLY I'll be able to maintain and even lose this wkd even WITH the weddings, the birthdays and the dinners!!! UGH! the food thing is TOTALLY the hardest part!! Pushing play is getting easier and easier... but its still hard to resist desserts and other "comfort foods" like CHEESE!!

BUT I found some cute older clothes last night and really want to be able to wear them with style... so I'm gonna work hard!! This weekend will really be a test!! :)

Ok I'm out till prob Tuesday!
Hope everyone has as much fun this weekend as I know I will!! I LOVE weddings and Birthdays and Days off!!! :)

Week 4, Day 2

2010-05-25T11:34:00.000-07:00

I know these are boring... "I worked out- I'm tired- its worth it- yay me"....

But i need someplace to be accountable and to track progress... thats why i started this blog in the first place...

Em and I did Burn it Up again today. Have I mentioned lately what a GODSEND it is that she wants to workout with me every day at lunch?? Its good to get to hang out w someone else and work hard together!

Today was her first time doing BIU and both of us were sweating WAY more than in the other 2 videos! Wow.
We did miss the more intense Abs from RIU and so we've discussed doing the 8 min ab workout on a "break" towards the end of the day every day... not sure if that will happen or not.

Gotta be honest- today - after last week of still doing the hr workout 5 days but eating badly and then gaining weight... i'm concerned about how the next 2 weeks will affect everything I've been working on. This weekend there are weddings and birthdays and then next Friday I leave for PERU for 10 days. Obviously wont be able to get in an hour workout...but hopefully we'll walk a lot and I'll burn calories that way... and maybe I'll have put in enough* work that my muscles will keep burning stuff for me.

We're over the 1/2way point of this program and have done a decent job at following it and trying to make changes in food (not the BEST by any means) and still haven't seen the results I want (though I know- it took me a while to get to this point, its gonna take a while to reverse it). I'm gonna be as serious as possible about it all till Peru. (which prob means only a BITE of cake at the wedding and bday party instead of a PIECE... boo!!! :( so sad!)

Anyway- for now- i'll just keep pushing PLAY!

Another workout... really??

2010-05-25T10:15:00.001-07:00

Going to work out in a minute... definitely dont want to today!! Just thought I'd share! :)

Week 4, Day 1

2010-05-24T12:59:00.000-07:00

Today Em and I started BURN IT UP. Unfortunately i have an older version of this workout- and its obvious in the quality. I think I'll be writing a letter to Beach Body letting them know.

Well we were only about 10 min in when Em started feeling sick at her stomach. She ended up having to go home early- leaving me to finish the workout on my own. HOWEVER- at least we STARTED together... bc I think i wouldn't have done it if I'd had to go down there by myself. I have to admit- I didnt' give it 100%... I felt like bailing multiple times... just bc the moves are a little different (i think its bc we're using the newer versions of SIU and RIU and the older version of BIU)

Anyway- the workout is pretty tough... but some stuff- like the abs- almost seemed easier to me. The floorwork w the legs is HARD HARD HARD and I felt the BURN pretty bad! But what I like about it is that you KNOW its GOTTA be doing something-if it hurts that bad- right?!

It was kinda hard to be motivated to workout after the wkd of not eating well and then gaining on the weigh in this week. BUT i have to believe that this is doing SOMETHING... bc I'm doing stuff that I've not done consistently in... well... ever!!

So as frustrating as it is to not be able to see changes on the scales or on the tape measure weekly after givign up my lunch hour and working my little booty off, I'm committed till the end of this biggest loser business is over! I'm NOT giving up! And even after that... this is about lifestyle changes... and they won't happen overnight.

I'm worn out and have to get through the last 2 hrs of work... but PTL that I dont have to do this at night after putting Nate to bed!

Week 3, Day 5 & the wkd

2010-05-24T07:58:00.000-07:00

We made it through the workout Friday - me Emily & Misty - and it was actually fun. I felt stronger throughout some of the stuff... some of the floor work was easier.

I didn't work out this weekend at all. Kinda felt like I needed rest...

But the funny thing (to me) was that I actually thought about taking a walk on Sunday just to do SOMETHING physical. I would have NEVER thought that before I started this thing 3 wks ago. I just wanted to get in 6 days of SOME activity. However- in true ME fashion- my day was packed completely and I never made it to that walk!

I did however goto a fun LOST Finale party where I definitely overate and didn't listen to my body. Its a shame bc at lunch i decided to forgo the Chicken Fried Steak at Barbec's and only had a small bite of the ~~delicious~~ evil beer bisquits and instead had grilled chicken, and a salad- which i only ate 1/2 of (listening to my tummy). So I made good choices at breakfast (no donuts @ church) & lunch (thats kinda my mantra- good choices, little changes) and then at dinner, sitting around watching TV w my friends, had no self control! I had 2 helpings of the amazing Taco Soup our lovely host Kristen made and then when they talked about dessert- I decided to have just a little...which meant one tiny scoop of Cookies & Cream ice cream and a cookie. I was going to have only 1/2 of the WARM GIGANTIC CHEWY CHOCOLATELY GOODNESS that was this cookie- but nope- i ate the whole thing! Couldn't help myself! Oh well- I can try again this week and do better.

I definitely didn't like the weigh-in this morning (monday) at work... I'm up 3lbs since last Monday- YUCK! (still down 3lbs from the beginning... but still!) and I didnt lose any more inches (still down 9 total from the beginning of the month- but still). BOO!

Guess that goes to prove that you can't eat *and drink!* like the french and lose weight!! C'est domage!! (what a shame!)

There's always next week! For now- I'll find solace in the fact that I might have gained a ZILLION lbs this week if I hadn't been working out daily! Sooo... just Keep Pushing PLAY!

Week 3, Day 4

2010-05-20T12:02:00.000-07:00

UGH!~ We made it... barely.

Lisa was off today and Emily had to take her lunch a little later than normal- so I was actually thinking about skipping the whole workout thing... esp bc after all the food the last 2 nights I'm up 2 lbs from Monday! YUCK! (Side Note: doesn't that make perfect sense? i gained 2 lbs back so why dont i NOT workout today?! lol I'm a little silly sometimes!)... but we made it. I just took a later lunch w Emily and we worked through it.

The whole first 20 min we were both like- I do NOT want to be doing this! I dont like this!... it was kinda pathetic and whinny. But we made it... barely!

I told Lisa that maybe we should just do Turbo Jam on Friday to change it up again- bc I think we're starting to get bored. Its shorter, faster, more aerobic I think from what Lisa and my friend Kelly have said.

Sometimes it helps me to look at what I've accomplished to be motivated to continue... so...since we're almost at the halfway point (after the 6th workout in week 3!) please allow me to recap:

6 - 30 min workouts week 1
1 - 30 min workout week 2
2 - 55 min workouts week 2
1 - 15 min workout week 2
1 - 60 min pool workout fun - week 2
4 - 55 min workouts week 3

Thats 15 total workouts in almost 3 weeks

180 min of working out week 1
215 min of working out week 2
220 min of working out week 3 (SO FAR!!)

So 15 workouts = 615 min of working out... or 10 hrs, 15 min.

Not bad... esp when you consider my total 'workout time" weekly used to be less than 50. minutes. weekly!

baby steps... baby steps... surely the results will come! (Debbie promises!! She's the Slim in 6 lady)

(can you tell i needed to pump myself up today?! I am SOO not feeling it!!! but I am gonna keep it up!)

Week 3, Day 3

2010-05-20T08:17:00.000-07:00

I forgot to blog yesterday about the workout. But in case you were curiuos- i did it! For some reason its harder on Wed bc the day is so busy- but me, Lisa, & Emily made it through RIU!!

Actually- it was funny bc in the morning I was thinking I didn't REALLY want to do it- but Emily and Lisa talked me into it... then right at lunchtime, Em called and asked if we REALLY were gonna do - so I got to talk her into it! Gotta love being accountable to ppl! I dont think we could make it w out it!!

So as far as food goes lately- its not going AS good... because - my SWEET family from France is in town which means lots of YUMMY (& not quite as good for you) foods... that I LOVE... (Here's me w Marcel, & Serge)

My biggest weakness is DEF cheese!! We have had a cheese course the last two nights that I LOVED (too much!) and Tuesday night they made homemade fries!! They were UH.MAY.ZING!!!! Here are some pics of the cheese plate, fries, and my plates the last 2 nights for dinner! (ps- the cheese platter was much more varied the 2nd night- but i was so busy enjoying it, i didn't get a pic!)

And then of course they want everyone to enjoy the wine... which is pretty tasty too (but def not on my 'good foods' list!) All in all- fun times are being had w the fam! We love to eat outside on the beautiful deck @ my Aunt's house. The first pic was while we were waiting for the fries to be done on the first night. The second is my mom and her 3 siblings.

Saturday's menu is roast & made-from-scratch rolls, among other things and then there's rumor of a "Tex-Mex Fiesta" on Sunday afternoon complete w Tamale's & Margaritas!! Ay Yi Yi!!!

I think at this rate- unless the working out saves me- I'm not gonna win this week's challenge... but... oh well!! There's always next week!

Week 3, Day 2

2010-05-18T12:07:00.000-07:00

We completed another workout! I REALLY didnt' want to!! But thanks to EMILY being dedicated- I decided it was worth it!

Today i really felt stronger doing MOST of the moves in RIU. And I actually had more energy, etc!

Just another day to 'push play'!!

I'm more motivated after i measured & looked at pics yesterday afternoon! I took before photos on May 3 & I had the same outfit on yesterday. A couple ppl at work said they could see a difference (I did NOT believe them!) so after the pics- i can see a TINY difference in the pic of my back/legs/etc... I'll show you two pics- the one w straight hair is wk 1- May 3, and the one w curly hair is Wk 3- May 17

Then I measured and lo & behold- I'm down a total of 9.25 inches!!! with almost 4 of those in my hips and an inch on each thigh!! How fun is THAT!? After just 2 weeks- and only 13 workouts!

People here have asked if I've changed my eating - I have. I have been trying to do more fruits & veggies and I"ve ONLY had water to drink for 2 weeks basically (yesterday I got 100 oz down!!! I think thats my goal each day!).

And then when I just REALLY want some kinda food (like fried stuff, cheese, chocolate)- I have maybe 2 bites or way WAY smaller portions (like take the NORMAL that I would typically serve and then cut it in 1/2 and then take a little less than that)!! For example- last week we had fried okra up here for an event. I LOVE okra! I had less than 1/2 of the 'normal' serving and I was def satisfied and then i skipped the roll & the dessert(it wasn't one i just LOVED anyway).

For me- if i have a "diet" or a strict routine- I'm NOT gonna stick with it. I know myself. I hate "rules" & "regimines" and so i need the freedom to change stuff up (afterall- variety is the spice of life right?!), the freedom to eat what I want, and the freedom to splurge if i 'need' it- without going OVERBOARD... but with the ideas I've started with- I have found I dont even WANT to splurge as much- and i LIKE lots of fruits and veggies- even having a spinach salad for lunch! How cool is that?!

I'm so glad I decided to do this!!

Week 3, Day 1

2010-05-17T13:10:00.000-07:00

Today started with the Weigh-In... and while I wasn't expecting too much change- I was DELIGHTED to know that I was down 5 lbs from last week (can that be right?!) which gives me a total of 6lbs lost in 2 full weeks of working out. Not bad.

I wasn't going to work out at lunch but thanks to my GREAT workout partner here at work- Emily- I did and am SO thankful!! It was even EASY to stick to Fruit Only at our Staff Party today and I was so thirsty for WATER that the DP didn't even TEMPT me!! Seriously! I didnt' even want it. It sounded gross! And I figured that I think I've filled my water bottle (25oz) up at least 2 times today so thats 50 oz of water so far! Thats good!! (esp for me!) I did KINDA want some cookies...bc they looked AMAZING but... its NOT worth it!

Total Side note... but... speaking of Not worth it... I really thought about trying some Queso & Tortillas from Taco Cabana last night bc my friends all had it... but no. I stuck to a yummy fruit smoothie - and I was totally satisfied. Really. It was delish. I was only tempted when that drippy yellow (fake) cheese was dripping off my friends tortilla... but as soon as the box was closed- I was over it! YAY! I totally think this is about the LITTLE choices. Too often I've felt like - "oh its just ONE tortilla w cheese... that won't be THAT big of a deal" and really- its not... till you have ONE tortilla w Cheese, ONE piece of Chocolate, One... whatever and then you're up to a whole lot of JUNK!

So about our weekly competition to wear jeans an extra day instead of just on Friday.... I was in the lead... till Lisa weighed. (Lisa's also the one who brought the ~~awesome looking~~ EVIL cookies I wanted to try!) She beat me by a TINY little fraction of a percent! UGH! soooo close!!! I was at 2.55% and she was at 2.81 or something. GRR!

Oh well- even more resolved to keep up the workouts and LOSE it in the end! :) This is fun! :)

Week 2, Days 4, 5, & 6

2010-05-17T08:15:00.000-07:00

I'm combining this post bc, well, the last few workouts of the week didn't go exactly as planned.

Friday- (day 4) we didn't get to work out at work bc Lisa was off, Emily had something to do during lunch, and I was SWAMPED w work! I literally took 15 min off at lunch to eat and then was back at my desk till 5. Fri night was a great graduation party (where i DID have a piece of cookie cake and LOVED every bite!) I got home around 10 and thought about working out... but just honestly didn't have the energy or the strength. Here's a pic of me and Magen w the food on the right and the cookie cake on the left! :)

Saturday (day 5) I got up w an upset stomach (maybe it was the cookie cake getting back at me!!) and me and the roommate were goign to do RIU (ramp it up for future reference)... So we get started and about 15 min in I start feeling light headed. So I get some juice to boost my blood sugar and drink some water and then i sit on the couch thinking I'll feel better and jump in... well then my stomach started hurting and I was feeling really clammy and decided I just had to sit it out. I went to my room feeling like I might get sick and just laid on my bed under the fan. Anyway- i felt better later but the day was filled w bridal showers and girlie movies so I didn't attempt another workout. Here's me and Chrissy at her shower!

Sunday (Day 6) I actually woke up early but decided to dance around to Worship music to get started instead of working out. I only lasted through one or two songs and then decided to hop in the shower. We did goto the park after church and I played a little kick ball w Nate. Here's a pic of all the girls in my LG (minus Rachel) at the picnic.

After our nap later on we went to the pool w some friends and ended up in this guys vs girl game of keep away that was pretty intense! We played for like an hr - moving around, jumping up, blocking, throwing the ball, etc and today my shoulders are sore - as well as my legs just a bit. So I think that counts as my workout- even though it wasn't really "slim in 6" or maybe even as intense. At least it was active! (and SOOO much fun!) This was BEFORE we started playing hard core!

So anyway- i'm gonna say that week 2 was harder- but overall a success... BECAUSE today I weighed and I'm down 6 lbs since May 3rd! And my coworkers said they noticed a diff when I came in today. I'm going to take pics every other week in the same outfit to see if I can see it.

The other news is- I think in percentage lost since last week- I'm the winner!! I lost 2.55% since last monday - meaning... I get an extra JEANS day this week!! Yippee! Its not official yet bc all the girls haven't weighed in... So my boss, lisa might still beat me... but we'll see. Till she gets here- I'm the winner! :) I'll keep you posted.

So total stats: 10 days of the Slim in 6 vids, 6 total lbs lost, 7 total inches lost. Not a bad start!

Week 2, Day 3

2010-05-13T12:07:00.000-07:00

Well i didn't make it to work out yesterday at lunch bc one of my sweet friends brought me homemade chicken enchiladas with an ice cold DP for lunch... So my plan was to do it last night after Lifegroup- BUT... I didnt. I just honestly did. not. have. the. energy.

So I decided yesterday was my "off" day for the week- which means i have to get in 2 workouts this weekend. At this point- my goal is to do them both in the morning on Sat and Sun before showering and getting ready for the day. Hopefully Monday I will be able to report that that was true and i made it throught ALL 6 days of working out on Week 2.

TODAY i got to work out with my co-worker Emily. She had to start a little late and leave a little early- but it was still good to have that accountability. I know if she hadn't done it- I prob would have bailed... but once I "pushed play" - I knew I had to do it!

Today I'm also starting to drink one Protien shake per day. We'll see how that works out. Someone told me to drink it right after my workout... sooo I'm trying now... its not the best...its just really thick. I may play around w this a little bit. Anyone have any advice about protien shakes? or good post workout lunches that would be easy for me to bring to work?

I read somewhere that after your workout your body can absorb nutrients better than any other time. It also said that you should have 3 parts carb to 1 part protien for the best nutrient mix. I just dont know what i should eat! I'm gonna try to goto the store this wkd for foods for the next couple of weeks - more fresh ingredients like fruits, veggies, etc, too hopefully!

I went down to the workout room at the church to weigh today - just to see... and I was down 4.25lbs from the beginning weight. Not too shabby!! :) I want to do inches again just to see if anything has changed since last friday - bc stuff like that (seeing even small-ish changes) totally motivates me to keep going! It is when I dont see ANYTHING or FEEL anything that I get bored/discouraged.

Week 2, Day 2

2010-05-11T14:09:00.000-07:00

Today we decided to switch it up - as I said yesterday. WE started the Ramp It Up vid and at the beginning it looked just like the Start it up... but after 3 rounds of "warm up's"... it started looking different.

The moves are basically the same, however, they do them longer and after doing a slow & Controlled section, they then do little "pumps" of each. For example- you do 16 bicep curls on each arm w the resistance band - alternating. Then you're done w that and you do 8 fast on one arm, and then 8 fast on the other arm. Its killer!!

It is also 50 min long after the warmup and with the Yoga stretches at the end. I didn't finish the stretches bc it was time to be back at work.

Right this minute (20 min after the workout) I feel QUITE tired!! My arms are like Jello and I'm pretty sure my abs and booty and thighs will be KILLER Sore tomorrow! Our plan at this point is to switch it up w Turbo Jam tomorrow (lisa had the video) which is supposed to be more cardio and really fast paced.

Anyway- it still feels good to have worked out today even if i am rather tired at the moment.

In other news- I decided to play Co-Ed softball again this yr on the MOose team at Mercy Place. Its on Sundays starting June 20th and will be a great finale to the whole "Biggest Loser" competition. I'm terrible at Softball- but i like being part of the team and hanging out... and I figure (once again) that if I"m going to end up spending every sunday at the fields, I might as well be getting some exercise! Esp since I've decided Sunday is my "day of rest" from the workout vids. We will see how it goes...

Also in other news- I'm planning a big 30th bday party on the 19th. I think it deserves its own post though!

Ok - time to go back to work and see if I can function throughout the day!
XOXO
tiff

the 30th Birthday - Coming SOON!

2010-05-11T13:30:00.000-07:00

MAKE PLANS TO ATTEND!! :) Its going to be in DALLAS around 8pm or so on Saturday night the 19th. Exactly 10 days after i turn 30! It will actually be a joint party for me and one of my friends- Jarod Olds as his bday is on the 18th and I figured I could share my party (and have more help!)

ANYONE is WELCOME to come celebrate but if you could reply to this w your email- or email me at tiffanydawnhines@gmail.com with your email address- then I will make sure you get the OFFICIAL EVITE!!

Its gonna be a party NOT to be missed! :) (I hope!)

Week 2, Day 1

2010-05-10T11:24:00.000-07:00

So these may get boring for everyone- and thats ok with me. This is a good place for me to feel like I'm being accountable to someone(s) even if no one reads/comments!! So I'm gonna keep it up!

Just worked out at lunch here at work. We did the Start It Up video one more time, but we're gonna move to Ramp it up tomorrow. We're a little concerned bc its longer... and most likely harder.. but it will be good to challenge ourselves some more. There was only one other girl who could workout w me today (Emily) but I'm so glad she did bc I was really thinking I might skip it today and do one tonight (which honestly isn't that likely bc of MOm's Night out and hangin w a friend later!)...

So the 2nd week has begun. My goal is again- 6 days. Todays workout was def the easiest of the last week (what a shocker- i know!) Hopefully i'm not too much of a baby tomorrow when we UP the pace!

In other news - the first unofficial weigh in was this morning and I'm still at 1lb lost - which is only .5% (even after the mothers day meals and desserts!!). I'm going to do inches again today and every Monday as the official measurement on this journey. However, this was fun to weigh in bc some of the girls had lost up to 5lbs and 3.64% of their starting weight! Cool huh!? Its fun to see ppl around me making life changes! I hope we can all continue encouraging one another- no matter who the "winner" is.

I think bc we are working out and building muscle- that I'm prob not gonna see a ton of lb's come off till later... but thats ok w me. I feel stronger and I do not care about the number on the scale as long as clothes start fitting better, I have more energy, and I'm shaping up!

Week 1, Day 6

2010-05-10T11:16:00.000-07:00

So I did a workout- by myself- at home- in the morning- on a Saturday! :)
yay ME! :)

I felt so productive Saturday! I was up at 8:15, cuddled w Nate a bit, then jumped up, put on my tennis shoes and PRESSED PLAY!

I worked out, showered, and was ready to go have breakfast at Kristen Gladney's at 10! What a great day!

We made fresh fruit smoothies using her handy dandy Magic Bullet Blender(WHICH I WANT VERY MUCH!!!) and had tasty bagels too!

Then we got to chill w Nate and watch Follow That Bird (a Big- Bird movie!) and we LOVED it!! By 1, I felt like I'd had a full day!! So I went home, worked on laundry, cleaned 1/2 the garage and got ready for my evening!!

Working out is fuN! :)

Week 1, Day 5

2010-05-07T12:02:00.000-07:00

Well, Lisa and Emily were gone today but Judy, Cynthia and Misty (and baby Carley) decided to work out w me today!!

WE did it during lunch again- in the nursery rooms while Carley (10 mo old) played in an exersaucer! IT was fun!

In other news- we girls decided to go ahead and weigh in today and measure just cuz we wanted to know where we stand after just 5 days (aren't we impatient!?!?! hehe)... So the good news is EVERYONE has lost at least 1 lb and EVERYONE has lost inches too!!

Personally- i only lost 1 lb... BUT i lost 5.25 inches- after just 4 workouts!! It definitely gives me the motivation to want to keep this up! And I'm sure I"m building muscle right now- since I'm doing stuff I havne't done in FOREVER and that will weigh more- but ultimately cause me to lose MORE fat!! So I kinda expect to see more inches than lbs and feel better in my clothes... which is actually what I am most concerned about! I also ALREADY feel stronger- just KNOWING i'm doing something GOOD!! It makes me want to jog to the car instead of walk or take the stairs instead of the elevator! LIttle things my friends, little things!

So the girls (em&Lisa) were talking about moving up to RAMP IT UP next week. If we REALLY want to be "Slim in 6" I guess we need to pick up the pace a bit. I gotta admit- i'm a little apprehensive. Its almost 20 min LONGER (thats nearly double) and supposed to be "harder" (and I def am not thinking Slim in 6 is super EASY yet!!)... It will be good for us - i just might be WORN OUT WAY faster!

I have one more START IT UP workout this week (I'm going for 6x a wk for the next 8 wks!) that I'm hoping to get in first thing Sat when I get up.

Nate was asking to wokrout w me yesterday- so I think he'll help my motivation! He was sad I didn't bring it home last night! :) So cute! What a positive thing this has to be for him! I need to keep remembering that! Its for him, about him and his lifestyle WILL be different than mine was growing up & has been lately! He will WANT to be active and make healthy choices! I WILL model that for him over the coming years! I WILL! (I'm talking myself into believing it!!!) :)

Ok- till next week!! Happy FRIDAY!

Shame

2010-05-07T07:58:00.000-07:00

This morning - I heard Nate get up as I was in the other room. Typically, he will get up, go potty and come find me - either to snuggle w me in my bed if I'm not quite up yet, or to give me a hug when i'm on the couch spending time w Jesus, or will at the very least poke his head in the room I'm in and smile. All of this usually happens w in the first 15 min he's awake.

Today, he never came to say good morning or give me my hug. After about 30 min (I was spending time w the Lord w my sweet friend LeeAnn) I went in to find him sitting in his undies and the t-shirt he slept in playing beside his bed with all the clothes (that we so carefully put ON the bed last night for easier sorting for me this wkd) strewn on either side of the floor.

Come to find out- he had wet the bed last night and was searching for pants that were to his liking (Jeans w out holes in the knee- a rarity at our house). When he couldn't find a pair, he just resolved to stay in his room and play.

I realized he never came to me because he was ashamed. Ashamed he had wet the bed, and then ashamed he couldn't cover it up by finding clothes to his liking, and maybe even ashamed he'd made the mess w all the clothes everywhere after we just cleaned up last night. So in his shame - he decided to just sit and play (in hiding) and never come seek me out.

When I found him - not dressed and just playing after being up for so long, he looked at me almost as if he'd been caught doing something bad. The main reason I sought him out was because I missed the morning with him! I missed being the first one he ran to! I missed his little "I Love You Mommy"! I missed his big hug and contented silence as he just let me wrap my arms around him tight and squeeze him.

How often do we do this with God?

How often- once we make a mistake, either accidentally or deliberately even, do we distance ourselves from Him?

Maybe its because of fear of punishment, maybe because of shame or disappointment in ourselves, maybe just because we're embarassed bc its not the first time and its messy... but regardless- How often do we choose NOT run in to say "Good Morning God" bc we only see our junk and assume he does too? How much does HE miss us?! How much is he sad/hurt that we didn't run STRAIGHT to him first thing? How much does he want to help us clean up our mess, "put our pants back on", and move on to the rest of the day? How much does he want to hug us and tell us he still LOVES us - no matter how many times we 'wet the bed'?

Its crazy to me that the hiding and shame thing is so instinctual. We dont TEACH our kids that- do we? We don't usually have insane consequences for thier trials.... and yet- they still hide and even lie sometimes when faced with 'sin'. I think sometimes they know its the 5th or 12th time they've had the same issue and they FEEL instinctively that they should "have it" by now. Don't we do that too!? Don't we disqualify ourselves from being used by God just bc we did THAT again?

I am sure that is not what our daddy wants. I am SURE that he LOVES us no matter what. I am SURE that any problem we have or mistake we make can be made right SO much quicker with HIS help, His perspective, HIS grace. I think he's more sad when we dont RUN to Him w our mistakes and instead run away from Him in hiding.

So my question to you is: do you believe you CAN run to him? And do you believe (even the 20th time) that when you make mistakes and sin that he still LOVES you and LONGS for your hug in the morning, your smile, your voice saying "I Love You"?

I think I'm starting to.

Week 1, Day 4

2010-05-06T12:30:00.000-07:00

Well we did another workout during lunch today at work! Me, Emily & Lisa pushed play again and made another healthy choice!

It was fun! I'm definitely gonna be working on a Workout Playlist that I can put on instead of the cheesy music in the BG of this dvd. I know I'm more motivated when I can sing along to a good song and it makes the time pass by much quicker!

So tomorrow neither of the girls are here so I may or may not get a workout in at lunch. If I dont', then I need to squeeze in 2 more over the weekend (the REAL test!) If i do- then I think I'll prob do one Sat after breakfast and be done for the week and take Mothers Day off.

I'll post again tomorrow if I actually work out... otherwise you wont hear from me till monday... when hopefully i'll have news of 2 more workouts! :)

I did it!

2010-05-06T07:31:00.000-07:00

I worked out. at home. after LG. during Nate's bath. in my house. BY MYSELF!!

Victory is MINE~! :)

I'm not even as sore today- i just really feel stronger!

the girls at work all texted eachother last night to keep us accountable... if I hadn't had that- (and the blog world) to be accountable to - I'm pretty sure I would have just NOT done it! But it was FUN actually... AND felt good to sweat! AND my little man came and "worked out" with me! SO cute!! He was doing the kicks and the crunches and was so proud of himself! Oh how it made me want to do more and be a GOOD example for him!!!

God blessed me in my workout! And then one of my very sweet friends came over last night just as I was finishing the workout- so I got to chat w her till the (too)late hours and it was super encouraging!! What a great Wednesday! :)

Week 1, Day 3

2010-05-05T13:23:00.000-07:00

So we didn't work out at lunch today. I went shopping, Lisa ran home, and Emily had to cover the daycare bc they were short staffed....
BUT the 3 of us made a PACT to do our respective Videos TONIGHT - no excuses!!! So I'll report tomorrow if we actually all make it- hopefully it will be YES and I'll get through the whole first week of workouts!

Till tomorrow...
Tiff

Week 1 Day 2

2010-05-04T11:05:00.000-07:00

Well, we did it again. Day 2 is a success I'd say. And the great news is- the other 2 girls want to do this EVERY DAY! 5 days a week! Together! They are super motivated by the # on the scale and the contest and just wanting to be in better shape overall.

Some parts seemed harder today- but some were definitely easier. I did get a little light headed after a million Squats-so i stopped before I did shoulder & tricep moves...but I figure I prob need a few more calories in me before we do the workout- so my goal will be to adjust the eating a bit tomorrow.

Anyway- i think i want this to be my place of accountability. So maybe I'll be blogging more... afterall- this is WHY i started this blog in the first place...
to talk about my journey to become more FIT! (and why it hasn't had a whole lot on it in the last yr after I gave up on running)

Biggest Loser

2010-05-04T08:54:00.000-07:00

Swimsuit season is (too) rapidly approaching... as is the big 3-0 birthday (only 36 days away from TODAY! YIKES!) and while I'm not the BIGGEST size I've ever been - that was last yr- I haven't made a ton of effort/progress to get back to "normal" (whatever that is!)

So... since some of the ppl at work want to start an 8 wk Biggest Loser competition - I figure why not give it a shot and make some changes. There's no better time than NOW! AND ppl are going to be doing it around me so I might as well- while I have some support.

So last week I got online at Beachbody where a friend of mine is a "coach" and looked around. His wife (mom of 2- also 30) just completed Slim in 6 and so i emailed her for the real life- "how does that work w your busy schedule and 2 kids and is it really as good as it looks" perspective.

This is an excerpt from her email:

You definitely have to be mentally prepared before starting a beach body workout because it definitely takes time!! I started with Sim in 6 and I think its a great beginning workout. It comes with 3 main workouts, a stretching workout, an ab workout, and 2 bonus workouts. You do the first one - Start it up till it becomes easy. I did it 3 days. Its only 26 minutes long. Then you go to Ramp it up, its 45 minutes long, and the finally burn it up and its an hr. I definitely struggled with the hr one as far as time goes but I mostly just did it when the kids went to bed.

Its not too much. I think its $60. Slim in 6 is a great way start - I had really good results!! I lost about 8 pounds almost right off the bat and I lost 2 dress sizes. I lost tons and tons of inches. When I started I could only do 5 pushups and by the time I was done I could 50. The good thing about Slim in 6 is it comes with everything you need.

So... I thought about it, prayed about it, and tried to decide if I was really mentally READY to commit to something like that; READY to make a change in my lifestyle and be more active. After about a week, the thing that stuck in my mind is "2 dress sizes and tons & tons of inches." Bc at the end of the day- i HONESTLY dont care about the numbers on the scale... I just want to feel good when I get dressed in the morning. So finally- I bought it! It was about $70 after tax and shipping and arrived at my office yesterday.

A co-worker and I did the workout during lunchtime yesterday - so that was fun! We started with the "Start it Up" video (which actually plays for 34 min - but still seems manageable). It wasn't totally easy- though the moves are simple - its just the endurance that was tough. I think I only did about 3 pushups in taht segment and def got tired during the lunges! But it was fast paced and doable. I think I'm gonna like it!

This morning I'm a little sore in my obliques, inner & outer thigh, and shoulders... thats gotta be a good sign that SOMETHING is working- right?! Today another girl is going to join us at lunch- so thats 3 girls trying to change together! (makes it SO much easier!)

I dont want to put too much on this in the early stages... bc its really easy for me to START stuff- but not as easy for me to FINISH! SOOO... just wanted everyone to know that i STARTED yesterday... and we'll see how it goes. I'm taking "Before" photos today and used the little tape measure they sent w the DVD's to measure everything too... bc i have a feeling i will see more inches come off than lbs... but we'll see.

Biggest Loser at Shiloh ends on June 28th. The one w the most % of weight lost gets cash! Cash is good! :) There will be a boy winner & a girl winner. I'm gonna try my best!

He Speaks

2010-04-26T10:21:00.000-07:00

So lately- I've been thinking about life and things we get ourselves into without really having any idea where they would lead or what they would mean. Its easy to look back on certain decisions and say- Oh ya- of COURSE that was the right one. I'm SO glad I chose it... and we forget the fight EVERYDAY inside of us on the way to make those choices.

I looked at my Fav Addison Road girl- Jenny's- blog this morning and the last part really struck me. I'll copy the last part here but the entire blog can be found HERE

Did I have any idea what I was getting myself into? Did I have any clue that life would happen? Or did God protect me from that little piece of information?

Like he does before you have a baby.

Protects you from knowing how brutal the first few weeks will actually be with strange fluids, aching legs, sore breasts, the strange fear of defeat, utter exhaustion, and a complete certainty that the critter in the other room has stopped breathing.

Maybe that's how we do life. If we knew ahead of time, we would run. So, we live innocently. Freely. Without fear. And when we have to grow up. When we have to face the fire. When the flames get hot...

well, that's when we learn to fight another day.

We grow up because we have to.

But we are changed in the process... because we want to.

OBEDIENCE
I've been challenged recently in my obedience and I'm feeling rather introspective about it.

Obedience is so much better than we believe. We think we know best- I mean I know I do! (maybe I'm alone in that??)

"God- you mean you want me to go where? At what time? but WHY!? It doesn't make sense... don't you know that {x,y,z excuse for why its not a good idea or its not safe or its not worth it}... and you STILL want me to go!? Really?"

How often do we go through that and let the excuses and the logic out-weigh His Voice.

His Voice
Do you know it? Are you SURE when you hear it?! How can you become sure? What if you're wrong? What if you made it up? Can you trust what you hear?

Now I know there are people at all different points in their journey with God and in the way they hear Him. I've been on my own journey in this for the last few years. I've LONGED for the intimacy I believe my friends have with my God. I've STRUGGLED with insecurity bc maybe He just doesn't want to talk to me like He does to them. I've FOUGHT for time to spend with Him when I feel like I'm not "getting anything". I've WONDERED if i'm missing something or not good enough or 'spiritual enough' or something. I've DOUBTED the things I did hear and been afraid to write them down bc maybe I got it wrong.

BUT then through all the LONGING, the STRUGGLING, the FIGHTING, the WONDERING and the DOUBTING - I've LEARNED He wants to be found and He IS speaking. All the time.

He is excited when i get up and run to Him- just like I'm delighted when Nate gets up in the morning and comes running to me for a hug before he starts his day. Its sweet. That small (seemingly insignificant but oh-so-natural little thing) lets me know Nate wanted to see ME first before doing anything else (except maybe the potty!)

THAT is what God wants from us!! To LONG to run to His arms for a good morning hug. To wake up and He's the first thing we think of.

But HOW?
How do we program ourselves to naturally run to Him first? How do we wake up with Him on our minds?

I don't really know what the "secret" is or how you get there. But I can tell you- I think I finally am there! Its so much fun!! I want to spend time with Him! I want to acknowledge Him. I WANT to read his word in the morning (AND TRUST ME- this is HUGE for me!) and not just to check off some bible study - but bc I KNOW he's going to love on me, to encourage me, and to go deeper with ME!

How did I get there?

Spending time with Him. Genius right?! Who would have thought that its by spending time with soemone that we REALLY get to know them and then by getting to know them WANT to spend more time with them. Its such a FUN Catch 22! I think its the BEST Catch 22 actually!

But it has to start somewhere!

You have to make a CHOICE that you're going to seek him even when you

dont feel like it.
have skipped a day (or a week)
dont think you're 'hearing' anything
see it as duty - not necessarily delight
wonder what the point is if all of the above is true

And I am completely convinced that when you make that choice- you will be AMAZED at the fruit that comes. You'll be AMAZED at how His {still quiet small} voice will become louder than all the rest. You'll be AMAZED at how you LONG to hear it. You'll be AMAZED by how much He actually IS pursuing YOU (and you thought you were doing all the work?!) You'll be AMAZED at the verses he takes you to and how they relate so perfectly to what's happening in your world at that moment!

And then one day- You'll just wake up and before you get out of bed, you WANT to talk to HIM!

It won't always be easy, you won't always be flooded w deep revelation. I think its like a friendship w your best friend - sometimes you are "on" and finishing eachothers sentences and then others - things are a little "off"... but you still keep hanging out with the friend and {hopefully}it comes back "On" again and both of you are better for the dry season. Your relationship is stronger bc you weathered the storm. You have learned to love deeper and value what you have. And You believe its worth it!

So ask yourself: Do you believe its worth it to pursue God? Do you believe its worth it to seek His voice? Do you believe its worth it to be obedient when it doesn't make ANY sense what he's asking you to do?

I think its a daily struggle sometimes- but how bout today? Is it worth it?

For me- it totally is!

Good Gifts

2010-04-13T14:45:00.000-07:00

So I've been thinking about this for a while now but after today- i just have to post!

Good Gifts

Sometimes I think we find ourselves asking "Does God really want to give me good gifts?"
The answer- we know in our heads- is yes. Of course. He says so in his word:

Matthew 7:11 (New International Version)
¹¹If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

But does he really mean the things we REALLY long for? Or is this just like the necessary gifts- like the obligatory socks & undies from mom and dad at Christmas.

Today I was convicted. Today I know he LOVES to lavish good things on us.

James 1:17 (New International Version)

¹⁷Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

Think about the "Perfect Gift". You know you've searched for it. Whether its for your Best friend's Wedding or for your Mom on Mothers Day or for your Sister on her Birthday or your Child at Christmas... You've searched long and hard to find JUST the PERFECT thing... the gift that they will LOVE above all others... the thing that will bring them great joy... the thing that shows you KNOW them well. (and that "something" is not socks & undies!!)

Why did I think God would goto any less trouble than what I would do for my friends, my family and especially my only child!?! Why would I think he just wants to give me the functional NEEDS (socks & undies) of my heart and not the DESIRES of my heart!?

Broken
So if you've been around me in the last 10 yrs at ALL, you know that I LOVE taking pictures. I adore it. It brings me GREAT joy to be able to capture the moments of life and then to go back and look at them later. I LOVE creating photo gifts and printing pictures for people. LOVE it. Especially when it was during a meaningful moment or event like Birthdays, weddings, and worship times. Something deep inside of me wells up when I get that "perfect shot" and I LOVE when my friends use MY photos as their profile pics on Facebook! I LOVE being depended on to be the "Shutterbug" as my friend Sarah called me.

So at my roommate's 30th bday party towards the end of the night in Nov, I let my child take a pic of me and some sweet friends (bc the only prob w LOVING taking the pics is that I'm rarely in them!)... and he dropped the camera. Not once, but TWICE on the hard wood floor. The lens made an awful noise and the screen went black and flashed "Lens Error". It wouldn't do a thing. The camera was dead.

My poor child didn't know what he'd done and he definitely didn't mean to destroy the thing that brought me such joy... but it was done. I put on a happy face (bc it felt silly to cry over a camera) and tried to just make the best of things for the next month... going into Christmas with my 4 yr old.

Past Gifts #1
My dad loaned me an old camera to use so I wouldn't miss out on too many memories... but it wasn't "mine" and it didn't take the quality of pics I was used to. I got through the holidays and the snow days (Nate's first time to play in snow) with some ok photos - and definitely was trying to be content... but at the same time I wanted MY OWN camera.

Then after Christmas- some friends randomly showed up at my house to "help pack". My roommate (who never takes pics) put a camera in my hand to "look at some pics" of something and then I ask "Who's camera is this?" and she answered "Yours."

It was the EXACT same model as the one I'd had and broken. Everyone is looking at me knowingly, smiling, and I just start crying!! I was floored w the generous hearts that gave THEIR hard-earned money AT CHRISTMAS TIME to buy ME something I ~~wanted~~ longed for! It was A GOOD GIFT!! I was so moved and just so thankful for my sweet community and how they saw the desire and longing and sadness over my loss and met my deep desire!

Past Gifts #2
Unfortunately, that camera started acting up after only a few weeks (it was used off of Ebay) and basically stopped working. So my good gift was broken and I was sad again... resolved to not be able to take pics unless I stole cameras from friends (at events) and saved up for my own purchase of a camera. I stayed silent bc I didn't want anyone to feel bad that the gift only lasted a couple of weeks (and I wondered if I'd done something wrong or what?). I began to think that I didn't deserve the gift anyway so it got taken away. (A LIE!!!)

So then a month or so later, I went to a bday party outside of another dear friend and drove up and said out loud to my roommate "Man, I'm bummed I dont have a camera- this would be good to get pics of."... exit the car and another friend comes running over to me and says- I have something for you... So we walk to her car, she opens the trunk and hands me a bag. In it- I see a camera case. I'm stunned. I don't know what to say. She just said "Its yours!" w a huge smile and proceeds to tell me that she doesn't want it, she was going to give it to me before I got the other one, but didn't, and then how if I wouldn't take it, she'd be giving it to her mother. So... I accept and am FLOORED!! I happily snap away pics of friends and am filled w such JOY that God gave me another GOOD GIFT even after the first two were broken!

I think i read the entire book on the camera to learn what it could do and I was overwhelmed as I learned about all the cool "professional" things it could do! This camera was definitely a step UP from the last two. (God gave me better than I asked for- something he's done w me before w both Housing and my Car).

Things were AweSOME with this camera!! I was excited to take it to Peru... I began having so much fun learning it, snapping away and being the happy little shutter bug again... for 3ish weeks. Friday night- its taking pics fine... sat morning I take a self portrait and then it dies. Completely. Dead. What in the heck!? This time I'm REALLY REALLY sad... bc it was an even fancier camera that I KNEW i couldn't replace and it made me camera-less... AGAIN...

I really questioned God again... not believing that the gifts he'd give me were safe. IT even started to make me not hope for Good things from him... bc they'd just get ruined. (LIES again!) Being so deeply saddened that the gifts I'd been given randomly decide to break less than a month after I've had them...and when the 2nd gift broke- i was really wondering what the deal was... Did I not take care of them well? (I did. Didn't even let Nate touch them. Used the case, etc)... Does God not WANT me to have good gifts??? (That, my friends, was a lie. Of COURSE he does...) Did God not WANT me to like photography?! Was this a SIGN!? What are the ODDS!? 3 cameras breaking in a 4 month time period!? Who else does that HAPPEN to?! It was so frustrating and really really sad. Esp when I had to go through ANOTHER holiday (easter) without pics and then a Women's retreat too. Big events that weren't documented!! (I know- ppl think i'm goofy that i care that much about taking pics- but it mattered to me and made me so sad.) Luckily I got to snag a friend's camera for some of the wkd and snap some good shots!

God cares though. He cares about what I care about.

Today's Gift

So today i'm having lunch w a sweet friend. She's running late but says something about running errands. She gets here and tells me she has something for me - its in a target bag. I open it and am SHOCKED! Are you kidding me!?!? For real? You're giving me a camera? You can't give me a camera? This is a NEW camera? This is kinda a pricey camera! You cant' spend that on me!!! "God told me to a while ago... i was just a little slow to come through. Sorry about that! And look- it has a 3 yr warranty... so hopefully you won't have to be without a camera for a while!!" she said w a grin.

WOW!

God cares. God wants to give good gifts. Even in the "little" things (that was a HUGE thing to me!) We dont get ONE gift and then its someone else's turn. He wants to LAVISH us with GOOD THINGS!! (and not the socks & undies - but the fun things that make our hearts happy!)

I HAVE A CAMERA!!!!

Maybe now I can use this one for my all the time stuff (snapshots, events, etc) and one day soon get the other(s) fixed and either give them away or only use them when I'm trying to be a "serious photographer" :)

I really can't believe that just since New Yrs - this is the 3rd camera my friends have felt prompted to GIVE me!! No strings attached. I am SO blessed by the group of people I walk with every day. I'm blessed that they KNOW what I love and they KNOW me and they LOVE me both because they know me and in spite of the fact they know me.

Today, I'm just amazed at how God cares about the LITTLE things that we LOVE... For me- today its photography... and blessing me by the PEOPLE I've chosen to surround myself with. Today I'm thankful that My GOD gives good gifts. And today i'm believing he'll give you your heart's desire too!! Don't believe the lies!! He loves you because he loves you because he loves you because he loves you.

Romans 5:5 (New International Version)

⁵And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Thought this was really good

2010-03-12T08:14:00.000-08:00

Ok so obviously i'm not married- yet... but thought this was REALLY good and said things that I believe all men/husbands should hear (often?). Just wanted to share. Feel free to leave your feedback...

An Open Letter to my Husband

A woman who feels desired is many things:

She is less likely to reach frustration with

you

or the children

or the cat

or the dog.

She is more likely to feel like an important part of

your life

and the home you share

and the children you created together.

She is more likely to look at her own body

and instead of feeling disgust at the way it has changed

since bringing your children into the world,

she is more likely to remember the feel of

your hands on her hips

or trailing down her spine

or the way that you pull her in

and fit her perfectly into the spaces of your own form.

A woman who feels desired

is so much easier to sit across the table from

as she is less likely to be judging

her own skin

her own curves

her own worth

her place in the bed that you share.

She is more likely to care for the body she has been given,

feed it good, whole foods

put it to frequent use in the garden

enjoy the pull of muscle

and increasing strength

as she carries ever-growing children

and becomes more confident with household repairs.

A woman who feels desired will rear children

who see their bodies as perfect works of art

that should be celebrated

respected

and capable of love.

It takes very little to make a woman feel desired.

It does not require

expensive jewelery

exotic flowers

pages of poems

romantic dates

or even dramatic words.

You can tell a woman you desire her

with nothing more than a look

a simple touch

a well placed word

and by listening to what she's saying

and then responding appropriately.

Without those simple things

even a strong woman may start to feel

less.

And less leads to

depression

self loathing

anger

frustration

bad parenting

and a marriage

that may not last the next five years.

So when your wife asks you,

"Do you find me sexy?"

the answer should never be

a long pause

followed by a apologetic

"I just love you."

Lie to me

if you have to,

but tell me "yes"

and then watch

as my confidence continues

to bloom

and my heart stays open

even when the world

is throwing us curve balls.

Because sometimes,

a woman needs to know she is desired

or she'll start to believe

it is no longer true.

RV Flames and Worldly possessions

2010-03-09T11:47:00.000-08:00

Ok so I've sent what few readers I may have over to Jenny Simmons Blog (of Addison Road) several times for interesting stories, perspective, etc...

But today- I'm sending you there to pray for her and to help in any way you can. She and her band just headed out on tour last week and long story short- all of her worldly possessions were moved to an RV that later burst into flames destroying EVERYTHING she owns- including some brand new makeup that God just blessed her with, ALL her baby "gear" - monitors, diapers, clothes, toys, etc, and all their bands sound equip & Merch (which is how they make money on the road).

I can't imagine being in this situation and it seems completely devestating. As a mom- think about how you would feel if ALL of your baby's cutest outfits, blankets, toys, etc were lost in moments.... your favorite bible with the notes written in them... your whole world.... and then please say a prayer for this family who's life is all about using their God-given talents for His glory and helping people grow closer to Him. She needs OUR help to lift her up and pray against attack, against discouragement. She needs the Body to help her see God's goodness. So i'm asking that RIGHT NOW (as in STOP reading, surfing the net, etc at this Moment- now!) that we all Pray for their provision, comfort, and supernatural love & support. And then pray about how God would have you help. Do you have baby "gear" that might be a blessing to little Annie? Do you have a couple extra dollars to spare? Can you forgo your Starbucks or Chick Fil A today to give just $5 or $10 even so that Jenny and her family can start to rebuild what was lost?

Jenny has championed SEVERAL causes to try to unselfishly raise money for others: Jenny Bizaillion, Katie in Uganda and more. I just figured I'd try to get the word out about her cause!

Thanks for praying for Jenny.
Jenny's Blog
Band Blog w Pics of the fire

I love free! FREE MOVIES!!

2010-02-19T13:35:00.000-08:00

Free Movie Tix for 2 - no strings!! just use by March 4!

I just love free stuff... so one of my awesome friends sent me this link (hyperlinked above) and it works people!! You get a ticket w a barcode (1 barcode per email address) and you can goto the movies at the Studio Movie Grill near you for FREE!!! (sure they'll get ya on the food and drink service if you let them... but have you SEEN how expensive movies are these days?! SERIUOSLY!?)

So there ya go- you're welcome! :)

This is a feb special and you have ot goto the movies by March 4th... so get a sitter and plan a date w your hubs or your bff or whoever!!

Enjoy! Let me know what movie you go see!

2010-01-29T09:39:00.000-08:00

If you've ever been disappointed bc ppl didn't change or your expectations weren't met...

goto this blog POST (titled Therapy Thursday) of one of my Baylor buds- Jenny Simmons - who now is the lead singer for Addison Road and is also a new mommy. I find her blog funny, real, and inspiring! I think you will too!

Check it out!
Jenny's Blog

Lovable Labels Giveaway

2009-12-02T07:36:00.000-08:00

http://workoutmommyreviews.com/2009/12/02/lovable-labels-giveaway/

Do you like to LABEL EVERYTHING!? Well check out one of my favorite Mom sites and enter the giveaway!

Ps- eventually I'll write a REAL blog.... I promise!

Check out Photoworks Free Photo Gift on Tuesday

2009-11-30T13:43:00.001-08:00

Have I mentioned I love free!? Order a calendar for your family or a fun 4x4 book for free!!

I love christmas gifts!

Title: Photoworks Free Photo Gift on Tuesday

Link: http://gotaf.socialtwist.com/redirect?l=-689161562101599589111

Anyone want FREE CHRISTMAS CARDS made? Coupon good till NOV 30

2009-11-09T07:28:00.001-08:00

Title: 50 Free Photo Cards, Shipped Free Too

Link: http://gotaf.socialtwist.com/redirect?l=312770629311016397221

Goto this site for FREE cards!! $0.00 including SHIPPING!!!

I'm all about free so thought I'd share!! Check out one of my Fav sites- FREEBIES 4 MOM!

Let me know if you take advantage of this!
Enjoy!

Tiff

My Child, the Genius!

2009-10-26T14:34:00.000-07:00

Ok so I've never really devoted an entire blog to my child... As much as I love reading my friend's blogs about their precious little ones and seeing pics, I just haven't had the urge to brag about my little man so much (I do it on Facebook and to various friends and family as often as possible though- dont get me wrong!) Its just this blog was originally gonna be more about morphing into a new creation... and just all about... ME! hehe

HOWEVER, I can not be narcissistic any longer. Because I have now decided I am the proud mother of a boy-wonder, a genius, a mini-einstein if you will! (and I will!)

His Daycare director emailed me this morning some shots of the work the class was doing. The class was given some random everyday supplies and told to create something.. anything!

I'll let the pic speak for itself:

Here he is concentrating SO hard on his creation of toothpicks and mini marshmallows.

And now, here's the work in progress.....

And there he is Ladies & Gents- my little Nathan, my gift, my genius.

He's making a 3 D object with NO assistance from his teacher.

He came up with the idea himself.. and while his peers are making 2D marshmallow suns with toothpick rays flat on the table- he's making a 3D cube! And- did I mention that he's only 3? (well for another few hrs anyway!)

Speaking of his age... tomorrow is his bday. 4 years ago today, I was in the hospital being induced... not sure what to expect of labor, delivery, or motherhood... excited to see what he looked like and if he was a "cute" baby or one of the funny squishy looking ones. 3 yrs and 364 days ago at around 2:45am.... he came into my life and things have never been the same. And I wouldn't change it for the world!

Here are just a very FEW things that i LOVE about my Nathan Riley:

His Smile- and how it lights up his whole face
His Laugh- and how you can't help but smile when you hear it
His Funny Faces- and how expressive he is
His Sense of Humor - that I'm sure he got from his dad
His cuddliness- and how he loves to crawl in my bed in the mornings if he gets up first
How he says "I just love you mommy" as he looks into my eyes or touches my face.
How aware he is of his world.
How smart he is and so quick to pick up things.
The way he cares about people and asks questions about our friends & fam
The way he has been enjoying reading stories in our Kids Bible, learning scriptures with me (to songs of course) and learning how to pray for others!

Ok- that was just a top 10 of the first things that came to mind at the moment.

I'm so proud of my little guy! Can't wait to see what the future holds for us! :)

Thanks for letting me brag!

XOXO

Tiff

Death isn't so bad...

2009-10-08T14:59:00.000-07:00

Because in death- there is LIFE and ABUNDANT life at that.

Thats all!

I just wanted to say that death really isn't ALL bad...

My thoughts are kinda jumbled and I"m kinda tired at the moment... but I feel like I'm really moving somewhere... finally. Its taken 23 yrs as a believer in Christ to realize I REALLY want the relationship... and 23 yrs to realize that I didn't have the closeness, the faith, the hope, or even the peace that I've always thought I did... bc HE has pointed out the areas where I'm weak - in the MOST loving way possible! And when He points stuff out, its because he wants to fix it. James 1. He wants to make ME complete. He cares about me! He has a plan for me and a purpose for me and he wants to give me hope and a future! He didn't say he wants to give me the exact future I've dreamed of... but he did make me promises! And I know that HE is one who keeps his promises. No matter what!

I've been reading in the Old Testament lately and realized something... God is a God of details. I mean teeny tiny details. Of course we've heard the scriptures about him counting the hair on our heads and feeding the birds and clothing the flowers... but really- in the OT.. he gives GREAT details on stuff. Anyone ever read Exodus? Like all the way through? Oh. My. Lanta!! So first he gives specific instructions to the Israelites on where to go... then to moses on the "laws of the age" - including the 10 commandments- but ALSO stuff like "if 2 men are quarelling and a pregnant woman is injured, you must do xyz..." (this is my paraphrase of course)... and then with the Ark of the Covenant instructions and even Noah's Ark instructions. I mean he gives DIMINSIONS and fabric specs and all SORTS of stuff!! It was FASCINATING to me that God said this.

He is so caring. He laid it all out- the people were quarrelling all the time- so he gave them laws... not just the 10 commandments- though thats what we think of... but all sorts of laws on what to do in interpersonal relationships. He gave us EVERYTHING we need to follow His will. It really has just impressed upon me that he is SUCH a God of Details! So anytime I think that maybe problem q is too small for Him to really care about... or that I'm wasting His time by asking the MILLION questions I ask him... I can now look back at this book and realize - He loves us. He cares about what we care about. And He wants his people to be equipped! Anyway- that was just a random side-note.

I want the day to day interaction with Jesus. I want to talk with him and listen to him and sit with him. I want to live a life fully surrendered - whatever that looks like! I want to trust him & I want to be ok not knowing what it will mean or what sacrifice I'll have to give bc I want to believe that no matter what - his way is BEST!

He wants to talk to me. He wants to listen to me. He will never give me more than I can handle. He wants to hold me in his arms and cry with me when I hurt. He wants to guide me in the day to day and he's ok w my Million questions! :) He WILL keep His promises. He will work all things for good... even when I dont follow his detailed plan for me every step of the way. He will work it all out for HIS glory!

I'm learning to trust Him. I'm learning to Obey. I'm learning to walk the narrow.

Its good.....

See- dying to yourself really isn't so bad!

Defeat & Death and Katie.

2009-09-16T07:40:00.000-07:00

ok so I know its been a while since I've posted... (It always annoys me when ppl post excuses and appologies when I read blogs... and yet- here I've done it.)

I haven't been doing a lot of running or anything lately- minus a 30 min workout in Mexico when we visited Nate's dad several weeks ago... so i felt like I didn't have anything to post. I felt defeated. I started this blog about "who I was becoming" because we are all works in progress... and I really hoped it would end with me being like "WorkoutMommy" or at least sorta fit... or maybe having dropped a few sizes and lbs... But so far I'm still not making a lot of progress in that area. I was so determined... but now it just doesn't seem to be possible, worth the effort, doable, etc. I feel defeated sorta... and only by my own self... only by my own lack of discipline....

However, I have a LOT going on in other areas... and so I've decided while I haven't spent much time on my physical self lately... i've really been growing and learning in my emotional and spiritual self. I wish they were all 3 meshed together and you couldn't grow one without the other... but honestly it just takes a LOT of effort/time/energy/insert other excuse here to do it all.

So for now... I'll give you a short update on the rest of me (as if anyone really was waiting for the next blog or hanging on baited breath to see what TIFFANY is doing... ) and then I'll send you to somewhere REALLY worthwhile... a blog I happened upon this morning that left me in tears and changed (in a good way.)

So after a season of stepping back from a lot of activities/leadership/etc and really trying to enjoy myself, Nate, God, Friends, etc (those are totally in the wrong order... ) I felt called to do "Elevate". Its a discipleship training school at my church. We will learn a lot, read a lot, memorize scripture, grow closer together, and really seek to serve the Lord outside of ourselves. I'm a bit ashamed to admit that I haven't done much of the above on my own so the good Lord has led me to a school where I'll be FORCED to grow. I use forced in a good way... This is going to be tough though. I'm not really very disciplined... (see above paragraphs about working out.) I've squeaked by in life, and managed to do ok at stuff... I've done enough to just get by... nothing too outstanding.. I do whats required and not much more. I'm selfish. Really. I am. I dont love people well. I judge others and have pride in my heart at things that I have no right to feel pride for. I want to serve- but on MY terms(read: enough to get by and complete a checklist), not the Lords (complete abandonment).

I'm overwhelmed. This is going to be a tough year. I'm going to have to DIE to myself. DIE. Every single day. Die to my plans. Die to my wants. But really- I'm 29 yrs old. I've known God since I was 6. Its kinda ridiculous that its taken me 23 years to realize its time to DIE. My only comfort is that Jesus started his ministry at 30... he did a ton in 3 short years... surely there's hope for me to change my 'norm'. Surely. I want to change it. I want to become CRAZY for HIM! I want to do things the world thinks are totally absurd for HIM. I want to love people for HIM. I want to get out of my own head and into the hearts of others FOR HIM. I want to stop judging people FOR HIM. I want to be an intercessor FOR HIM. I want it all FOR HIM! I want to change the world FOR HIM!
and then... i realize that means sacrifice... and that means death. Death to MY dreams, MY desires- because they are not His desires. They aren't.
and then... I'm scared. Scared of failing... and even scared of succeeding. I'm scared about what that would even look like. And I'm scared that when I get there- I'll decide the cost was too great. But could it ever REALLY be too great?! The church answer is def not. My real answer- I'm not sure.

So here we are at the beginning of a journey that I believe is going to be good... that I intentionally placed myself on... intentionally not knowing what it was going to require and now feeling completely overwhelmed.

Speaking of overwhelming... I just found a blog today through one of my friends from BRH days at Baylor, Jenny Chisolm Simmons of Addison Road. Jenny's blog is great- she's a new mommy and she shares with such REALness and humor the not-so-glam world of being in a hit band, following God at all costs and her struggle with the good and the bad. I LOVE reading her posts and I'm pretty sure you will too! HOWEVER, today- she had an entire post of reaction to someone else- Katie. See Jenny's blog about Katie here:

So if you didn't read Jenny's summary of Katie and her blog... at least click on Katie's blog. She's just a girl who grew up in the South, and now serves God in Africa doing things she never would have been able to do on her own... and loving it. After reading her blog- my issues... dying to myself... finding a little discipline... they don't seem like that big of a deal. I'm going to be thinking about the things I read for a while... and then hopefully dying to myself and stepping out to do something for HIM.

Let me know what you think. I'd love to hear your perspective.

Love
Tiffany, the dying one.

Guess what?

2009-07-17T09:28:00.000-07:00

I ran!

Thats right- I didn't want to post about it before I did it... but I did. Not for long... but I enjoyed it. I actually enjoyed it. I stopped when I got tired/winded and then I picked up again... and I pushed myself some (not a ton but some).

The story:
I decided I needed a day off on Wed. SO I took one! Nate was at my mom's for Library Reading day and so I got up thinking I"d take a shower and get ready for the day... but something stopped me.
NOPE! I'm gonna go over to the Village and I'm gonna walk and spend time w God!

So I did... for about 30 min or so. Not super long- but thats ok bc its been FOREVER since I've even tried! So I had several spurts where I ran (prob only for a couple minutes at a time) but it was good! Maybe I can do this. Maybe I can become a runner!

It wasn't even that hot- and just when I'd get tired, I'd round the corner and see the beautiful Lakes or a water fountain thing or some ducks or pretty trees. The sprinklers kept coming on too which was a nice welcoming cool splash of water! It was great! I almost felt like a kid who gets excited about running through the sprinklers! And there were even rainbows on occasion through the sprinklers!

Just wanted to post! It was NOT so bad... fun to get out my running shoes and nice to have quiet time around the lakes and trees and nature!

Though I think I've decided that I do better when I run/walk around water!! It helps me be motivated much more so than a track!

Just a thought...

2009-06-01T11:50:00.000-07:00

In case you're wondering - I'm ok. Relatively speaking. God is doing stuff in me and I've faced some trials recently that I would have rather run away from than faced... But I've faced them.. and mostly got through relatively unharmed...

On another of the blogs I read daily (the Daniel Fam) I was struck by something her husband told her... this is totally a paraphrase... but when she was stressing about the future and about planning for tomorrow and trying to figure stuff out, he reminded her that the situation they are in (preemie in NICU in D.C.) is not a punishment from God for something they did "wrong".

How often do I feel like GOd is punishing me for bad choices like I would punish my son and that his punishment is x,y, and z hard trial. So then, I was just reminded of the following verse... one of my ALL TIME FAV's...

James 1 vs 2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

"Consider it PURE JOY when you face trials". Not just Joy. Pure joy. I think about that like the kind of joy that a small child has when they play with their favorite toy or get their favorite food or see their mommies after being away from them for a week, a day, an hour! He wants us to act like a child w their favorite things when we are in the middle of tough stuff. I haven't felt like a child lately... But I believe His way is best and I believe that He can be trusted (well I dont TOTALLY believe I can trust Him right now... honestly... but I"m trying to.)

He continues saying that the testing of our Faith (in Him, in things we can't see, etc) will lead to perseverance and maturity. He wants us to be MATURE and COMPLETE... lacking NOTHING. Sometimes I wish he'd just let me be incomplete bc maybe it wouldn't be so hard or hurt so bad... but I have to believe His ways are best. And to even be thankful that he cares enough to finish what he started in me... he doesn't want to give up. He doesn't want to have a 1/2 completed masterpiece.

I think about my recent fliers and publications I've done at work... and how I want to complete them... make them into EXACTLY what I had envisioned... even if it takes me 1/2 the morning after I think its "done" to make it "COMPLETE"... resize a font here, add a graphic there, change some colors, etc. Then Finally... finally... its complete. It lacks nothing. I'm satisfied and even proud of the work I finished.. but it doesn't happen instantly. It takes time... and then just when you get it close to what it should look like... there's even more "tweaking".

Why don't I trust him to finish "tweaking" me?

That passage continues with : 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

So if I doubt Him.... if I doubt His word is truth.... if I doubt He wants the best for me... if I doubt His plans... I"m "double minded" and shouldnt' expect to receive ANYTHING from the Lord.

OUCH!

So maybe I'll get to work on this trust thing. Maybe I'll give up my "right to understand" as Lori said below (in Trust #3) and then maybe I'll believe its worth it. Maybe I'll believe I'm not being punished... and that he's holding me when I'm sad and hasn't abandoned me ever... even for a moment... Maybe. It seems so hard right now.

Then I keep reading in James...

12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Maybe its worth it... I mean... I'm pretty sure it is. The Crown of Life seems pretty cool.... I want to look back and say I stood the test... I guess only time will tell!

Pain.

2009-06-01T09:09:00.000-07:00

So the end of this made me cry. Maybe one day I'll have my own reflections to post... but for now, I'm pretty sure the Lord is speaking to me through these other people about trusting him, knowing he loves me, and that he hurts with me. - Tiff

From : http://andreaandcamryn.blogspot.com/
Last night Camryn experienced a part of life that hurts and seeing my baby go through that just about killed me. I got a text from her Dad that told me that Cocoa, their dog at her Mamaw's house, died and that Camryn probably saw it. I sent a text to Judy telling her I was sorry to hear Cocoa died and asked if Camryn was ok. She told me that Camryn was fine just puzzled by what happened as they were. When Camryn got to my mom's house she was in good spirits so I was thinking it was smooth sailing. On the way home Camryn said "It's like I have a record playing over and over in my head". I asked her what she had stuck in her head, thinking it was going to be a song, because this happens to her a lot...she's just got the music in her. Her response ripped my heart out and I knew what was coming. She said, "Go get Papaw and tell him Cocoa is dead...go get Papaw and tell him Cocoa is dead...I just keep hearing it over and over". As she was telling me this her little innocent voice got shaky and then the tears came. When we got home we sat down and I just held her as she cried and kept saying "I just want Cocoa alive". It was killing me. I had no comforting or inspirational words, I just rocked her and cried with her and told her it's ok to be sad and to cry. Y'all it was almost more than I could take. I sent her dad a text telling him Camryn was really upset. He called and she talked to him and her brothers and that seemed to help a little bit. She drew a picture and told me she would always remember Cocoa and for me not to worry that she would get over it. She would pull herself together and then it would hit her again and she would start to cry. It made me think about God's love for His children and how it must kill him and rip his heart out when we are hurting and crying. How He must be holding us and crying with us in our times of trouble, telling us it's ok to be sad and that everything will be ok. His love is amazing!
It is a part of life but I'm telling you I would rather hurt a million times than to see my child hurting like that.

TRUST #3??

2009-06-01T08:39:00.000-07:00

Hit me again that everything I'm reading is about trust.... so then I realize that I have a big issue with that right now and don't think I can honestly answer yes to either of the questions she poses below. I believe I will get there... but I'm definitely not there now. I hope this encourages you as it did me- Tiff.

From Lori Goode...http://theunpredictableadventure.blogspot.com/

In church on Sunday, a good friend of mine, Sandra, spoke on giving up our right to understand God's actions or restraints - when He does something that hurts and is confusing or when He doesn't do something that we've asked. Sandra said that throughout her life, when difficult circumstances arise in both her life and in others, God has asked her these 2 questions:

1. Do you trust Me?
2. Do you give up your right to understand what I am doing?

Whoa...I was immediately thrown back to this month 5 years ago when these very same questions brought me to a turning point in my faith. And although most of you who read this blog know my story, I feel like there might be someone out there who doesn't or who needs to hear it again. Maybe you feel like God failed you, like He didn't come through for you, or maybe that He's denying you something you've asked for over and over again... Whatever it is that you're dealing with, I want to give you hope.

In May of 2004, after praying and waiting and being sure that I knew how things were going to eventually play out in a certain situation, I was blindsided. I did not just feel like the road made a big turn and I went off course, I felt like God told me to go down a certain road that ended with me going off an uncompleted bridge, straight into a freezing river. I asked myself, "How could I have missed this? How could God not tell me when I asked so many times? Can I even hear the voice of God? Why would a God who claims to love me and know what's best for me allow me to be shattered and utterly lost?" Trying to make sense of what had happened, I was overcome by loss and anger. I shouted out loud to God, "I don't believe You! I don't believe that You know what's best for me! How could this possibly be what's best?! I don't believe that You are good or that You love me! But oh, how I want to! Show yourself to me God! Show me that You are true, that the things I've read and been taught about You are true! Prove Yourself to me!"
And by His grace, He did...

I was too angry and hurt to hear His voice for a while, so He used other things to speak - His people to give word pictures; a Watermark song "Mended"; a section from the book The Princess Bride; a line from the movie LOTR: Return of the King; a dead tree trunk that had a sprig of a new and different tree growing from within. God uses all things to show His grace and reveal Himself, if only we are willing to see.

Over time, I was healed from the loss; but greater than the pain from the loss was the pain of not knowing why. Over and over again I asked for understanding, I pleaded with God to show me why...and the only answer I got was that it was not what He had for me. At first, this was not an acceptable answer, but as He proved Himself to me, showing me His good, loving, merciful character, I was able to release my right to understand and to trust His sovereignty.
Back in high school, I remember sitting in my driveway after midnight with my good friend, Alex. He said something that has stuck with me even 11 years later: "In all situations, we have to remember that God is good and that God is sovereign. If we can remember that, then everything will be okay." (Wow...pretty profound for a 17 year old - thanks Al!). And that's true even today...for me and for you - if we can choose to believe that God is good, that God is sovereign, and (I'd like to add) that He loves us, everything will eventually come into line.

It's when we have an experience with God - when we know Him and have seen His character - that we can believe and trust Him; first came the experience, then the belief and trust. This doesn't mean that we don't question, that we don't get angry, that we don't feel sad and loss; it does mean that God is not afraid of those things and He will prove Himself to us if we humbly ask.

So on Sunday during the ministry time after the sermon was over, I sat reflecting on my situation 5 years ago and I was so thankful - thankful that God proved Himself true to me; that in His mercy He drew me close again; that He was not discouraged by my anger, my doubt, my questions, my accusations; and that because of that situation, my faith was refined, hardened and proved genuine. I don't want to be arrogant; I know that my situation is mild compared with some of the true tragedies that others have gone through. But I hope that even if horror comes to me in greater proportions I will still believe Him true; yet even if I am not, He will prove Himself to be.

My encouragement to you is this: if you are angry, hurt or confused by God's actions or restraints, if His character does not seem to line up with your experience, then humbly ask Him to prove Himself true to you, to show you Who He is and how much He loves you. As one who has experienced this for herself, I know He will be faithful to do it.
Posted by Lori at 8:16 PM

Trust (#2)

2009-05-29T07:07:00.000-07:00

from http://thewacosudans.blogspot.com/ I thought it was good so I'm posting it! Head over to Mr Sudan's blog if you want more of his story!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."

This has always been one of my favorite passages of Scripture, but in all honesty it has also been one of the most difficult for me to follow. It has been my M.O. to try to maintain control of my life and all situations. Fortunately that has worked well most of my life (at least for me - those around me may not feel the same), but I feel like I have missed some direction from God and some blessings because of this.

Then with my surgery, I completely lost control of my life and I was forced to re-examine my way of doing things.

The other day I was driving back from the lakehouse with my mother who is now very confused. She was not sure where she was or what was going to happen to her and after answering many questions, I finally said that she just needs to trust me. Her response was "What else can I do?"

It really got me to thinking that that was what God is trying to say to us. He just wants us to trust Him. There are times when we do not know where He is leading and events in our life just do not make sense. At that point we just need to trust Him.

But for me the bigger problem is that I don't realize that I am confused. I go through life trying to control it and thinking that I know where I am going, while in reality I am lost. The first step in trusting is to realize you are confused. We often call this humility. We all need a good dose of it.When I asked my mother if she thought she could trust me, she responded that she knew me and that I was trustworthy. In the same way we can trust God because we know His character. We know that He is good and that He is powerful, and therefore He can take care of us and do what He says He will do. And that is the gist of it.

We have to admit that we do not know it all and turn to One who does. Of course trust is earned and it starts out small and grows as the One we trust shows His trustworthiness. I have a lot to learn in this area. But if God can speak through a donkey, surely He can speak through a confused old lady. We just need to be listening.

Trust

2009-04-28T14:25:00.000-07:00

From a friend's blog. I feel like its universal. It meets me where I was yesterday! I hope it encourages you!

"But He knoweth the way that I take: when He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold (Job 23:10). All the days of my appointed time will I wait, till my change come (Job 14:14b). [So with that being said] Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him. (Job 13:15a)

I have a sneaky suspicion that once you let God know how you feel, He will let you know how He feels and that is, Woman of God, daughter, just trust me. I know what Im doing. If you can just endure a little while longer, you will have the last laugh. Dont faint. Dont get despondent along the way.

Yes, your heart hurts but I couldnt allow this door to open because it was a smoke screen, it wouldve been what you wanted and not what I wanted for you. It would have been an Ishmael (what the flesh wanted) and not an Isaac (what is ordained in the Spirit).

Hold on woman of God. I havent forgotten about you. I know it seems like its taking a long time but everything is going according to my divine plan and will for your life. Youve got to trust me. Even when you dont understand it or what Im doing, you must trust me. Can you do that for me? Can you trust me with your life? Better yet do you trust me? Do you trust that I have
your best interest at heart? Do you trust that I can come through for you? Do you trust that I know what Im doing? Do you trust me to bring you out of this trial? Do you trust me? Do you? I cant hear you?!!! Do you trust me?

Then if you do, let me handle this thing. Let me handle it! I know what Im doing. Do you think I want to see you hurt? Do you think I like watching you suffer through the afflictions? Do you think I like watching you agonize over things when your breakthrough is coming? What kind of Father do you think I am?

Believe me, I want to come to your rescue, although its very tempting, but I cant because if I do, the blessing wont last; you wont get all that Ive ordained for you. Youve gone through too much
emotional damage, youve cried too many tears, youve been through too much these past few years for me to just let you settle for anything. Ive got to let you endure until the end. I cant allow you to give in now.

Trust me,it will be worth it. But you have to trust me.

I know your heart aches. I know youre confused but daughter, the end is nigh; your breakthrough is imminent. I wouldnt be a just God if I didnt allow you to enter into the Promised Land after all this time in the wilderness. Trust me. I need you to trust me. So just trust me. Please trust me. I will not let you down. I promise!!!! "

Pray for the Daniel Family

2009-04-23T07:07:00.001-07:00

So I stumbled upon this blog and feel like I know this couple.... They could really use our prayers today.

Long story REALLY REALLY short (goto the blog if you want to get the long version) is Brittany's water broke at 24 weeks, & 1 Day. She's been in the hospital in Washington DC (they are from Alabama) since that day on bed rest. God has kept the baby "Gaines" healthy and safe and both of them without infection for 5 weeks! A total Miracle! She's having contractions this morning though and so today might be delivery day. Pray for them!!

If you goto the blog- start from the bottom and go up.

http://beauandbrittanydaniel.blogspot.com/

Moxie Girls!

2009-04-22T09:32:00.000-07:00

So our "Running Team" (which has only done one race) FINALLY has our SHIRTS ordered!!

What do you think?

On the front it says: "Team Moxie" w a running girl in the middle and underneath gives the definition of Moxie:

[mok’-see] n. slang. The ability to face difficulty with spirit and courage.

On the Back, it has our names all off center and then at the bottom our Team Verse:

Let us throw off everything that hinders ...
and let us run with perseverance
the race marked out for us.
- Hebrews 12:1

It will be HOT PINK! :) ya ya!! (no idea why it turned purple in the picture...)

Where Have I beeN??

2009-04-16T10:38:00.000-07:00

Well... here, there and everywhere. Unfortunately- not really doing too much on the exercise front.... doing more on the spiritual front. So I sent an email to some people yesterday and I feel like sharing it w the Blog World. NOt totally related to why I've been out but really related to the title of my blog: Who I'm Becoming.

Check it out. (its LONG) Let me know your thoughts if you make it through!!

Hello friends! A lot of you have been involved in my life at various levels and seen the various financial and car troubles I have experienced over the years (really- my whole life!). I'll try to make a long story SUPER short! I felt in June that God promised financial Freedom to me! Let me give you a Timeline of the events/progress thus far and how God is blessing me!!

I was struggling in my commission-only job (that i really liked... but wasn't doing well at) and my spirits were low. In August I got a job that I LOVE at my former church. Salary isn't high, but I felt a peace and its a STEADY, dependable, unchanging amount and includes a daycare discount (BIG ONE!) and medical cov'g! FIRST BLESSING!

I had a hard time paying my car payment during the months on Commission, so in early Aug, it got Repo'd which was actually more freeing than depressing. 2 days later- I was GIVEN a FREE car- 95 Volvo!! Second HUGE BLESSING!!

November- was going to move into a small 1 br apt on my own unsure of how I was going to handle the monthly bills/budget and the space issues w a 3 yr old but still felt Peace. WheN I was getting ready to move, My dad and his wife, Mary, decided they wanted to give me $100 a month to cover Nate's part of the rent and the increase in utility bills(allowing me to get a little bigger place w 2 br!) They volunteered this out of no where and have been faithful to send me that money at the beginning of every month! THIRD HUGE BLESSING!

January- After Christmas, Jan was a bit tight... then around the first week of the month- I get a check deposited from my former commission only job of $700!!! It was a surprise (while i usually get a check each month, the amounts vary and had usually only been around 2-400 depending on the month) FOURTH BLESSING!

April- it was a fairly tight month after investing in Running Shoes and paying some bills early. I had a flat that week and was really stressing a bit. I was literally left w like $200 in my account and deciding which bills could wait till after I got paid the following Wed. and which should be paid w this $200.

I went to hang w friends at a Poker night on April 11. So, its 1am... I'm inside my apt complex driving home when all of a sudden a car has backed out in front of me. There was no time to stop, so i SLAMMED into him. I initially thought it was my fault- but said nothing other than to exchange ins. My back hurt instantly and I cried when I got around the corner to my house bc I could only afford Liability ins and just knew my free car would be broken forever. PLUS my apt tows cars that are 'visably damaged' so I wondered where I was going to park since I wasn't going to be able to fix my car! I honestly doubted God and wondered what I was going to do! I felt him say "Tiffany, Do you not trust me yet as your provider?!"... and I'm like "Yes... but... it was my fault and now I'm hurt and I dont have any extra money to fix things and... (the list went on and on)." I finally went to sleep TRYING to believe He was going to provide somehow - but secretly honestly thinking I'd "used up" all my blessings and that he really wouldn't! I mean he'd already given me a FREE car... and I wrecked it! Why would he trust me w something else? Why would he help ME?!?

The pain in my back continued the next morning and was pretty bad. Nate was also mildly hurt. My car looked so sad as I went to it on Sat Morning before Bible study. The girls at the study prayed for me and my car/back. Later, I called my dad and asked who's fault he thought it was and told him about the damage. He volunteered to take a look at it if I had time on Sat afternoon. He ended up spending 8 hrs and $200 working on my car with a few breaks here and there for lunch, dinner, a trip to the junk yard, and an easter egg hunt w Nate. I know he was exhausted, but really, it was a great day! We had fun in spite of all the work he was doing (at least I know Nate and I did!) It was just such a sweet and selfless time my dad gave me. As I helped him finish checking the air on my tires, tears came to my eyes as I realized my Heavenly father had provided for me through my earthly father. And that He's been working to restore our relationship to completeness/wholeness. Its sooo good! And I felt more loved and protected and provided for than ever before. Praise the Lord! FIFTH BLESSING!

At that point, I didn't even care if it was my fault. My car wasn't so bad anymore thanks to my dad the Mechanical Miracle Worker and I learned I would be able to seek Med Treatment under my PIP ins for Nate and I. Had an appt on Monday and already felt a little better on Tuesday when I woke up. Nate got treated and I learned he had minor damage and wouldn't need many treatments. The 2500 PIP would surely cover it! SIXTH BLESSING! While I was at the Chiropractor- i got a call and learned that the wreck was the OTHER guys' fault!! SEVENTH BLESSING! Also, they said they would pay for ANY and ALL medical bills for both Nate and I related to this claim when we had completed all treatments!!! (So that means that if my PIP pays 2500, then they will write me a personal check for 2500 also!!!) EIGHTH BLESSING!!

Also, I have an Aflac Accident plan which means that I get additional money IN MY POCKET for accident treatment!! I'm guesstimating that it will end up around $500!!! NINTH BLESSING!

Tuesday, the adjuster came out and said he thought it might be totalled! I was a little scared bc I figured that would mean they woudln't give me much to fix the car and they'd want to take the car- then I'm stuck trying to find something to drive that's reliable! Ugh! I searched Blue Book value for the car and it ranged from 1500-3300. I guessed I'd get around 2000 for the car. Wed I learn that they did total the car- but they think its worth 4749.06 if they total it out and take it. WHAT?! Did you say 4 THOUSAND dollars!?! (but that means I"m Car-less!!) And then I asked- well what if I dont want to give you the car... and they said they would pay a little less... 4299.06!!!!!!!!! "wait- so you're telling me the minimum you will settle for will be $4300?!?!? for a 95 VolvO? SERIOUSLY? TENTH BLESSING!!

So.. to sum up- GOD is SOOOO my Provider!!! I repent for EVER doubting that he wants FINANCIAL freedom for me!!! Praise the LORD for blessings in disguise! I never knew I'd be sooo glad to have had a car wreck! This is INCREDIBLE!!!

And also- I had been feeling like I was supposed to do the Discipleship Training School at our church starting in August. It is $900 and I wasn't sure how I was going to pay for it, but just started the application this week! I read the line that said 'you may pay in advance" and almost laughed out loud! Ya RIGHT! Like I"D have 900 EXTRA dollars!! SOooo joke's on me I guess!!! :) I think I'll be able to write a check for the full amount now!! God is SOOO good!! Its really humbling and amazing!!

Please pray with me that I would be a good steward with the extra funds. That I would listen to wise council and that I would make progress on my debt!! I will have financial freedom!!! I can TASTE it!!! ANd its SOOO worth it!! :)

Hope you have a blessed day!! And that you BELIEVE that HE loves you!! And that He wants the BEST for you!! And that He will be your provider too!
Love, Tiff

Sick Sick Sick

2009-04-03T08:10:00.001-07:00

In case you were wondering if I'd picked up the pace a little this week...

I haven't! BUT... not bc I'm being a bum!! I've been WAY sick all week! I didn't even get to play in the MOOSE game on Sunday!! Bummer!!! I haven't been able to eat ANYTHING (still managed to get to work each day but an hour (or 3) late usually). I"ve had incredibly low energy... bc I haven't been able to keep any food down... So ya... Its been an off week!!

BUT- I'm working on designing the "Moxie Girl" shirts... (with the help of a REAL graphic designer- Maggie) so we can all have them for our June 7th Race (that I'm still going to attempt to run!)...

I'm also planning on walking (maybe running a few minutes here and there) the Victory Over Violence 5k in Ft Worth. A few of the girsl are coming and it should be a good time!!

I kinda feel like my knees are better (but then again i've done NOTHING For 2 wks)... i guess we'll see after the walk and after Softball on Sunday if I am recouped or not... hopefully I'll be good as new and can start over on my interval training.

I think I still want to be a runner... and I KNOW i definitely want to be more active as a lifestyle... but man- sometimes its exhausting!!

I'll let you know how I do this weekend!

BE ACTIVE!!!

Tiff

Slacking...

2009-03-30T08:23:00.000-07:00

So I've been slacking on the blog... which unfortunately also means I've been slacking on the working out...

Since my knees have been hurting, I wanted to give it a week off to rest... so I did (and they still hurt). Hmm... I was going to go walk at the lake the other day, but it got cold and who wants to be at the lake when its cold!? (of course, I dont really want to be out there when its boiling hot either...)

I am totally encouraged by one of our MOXIE girls though! Chrissy ran the Bearathon 1/2 marathon in Waco this past weekend!! The other girls who went to support her said she did AMAZING! She's totally inspiring!!! She finished under 2 hrs... (actually I dont even know what that means, but from the way ppl said it- It seems like its really good!)

Soooo I'm registered for the 5k on Sat in Ft Worth... i'm gonna be walking most of it- but I'm going to do it... I really need to go walk/jog today... but i had fever last night and this morning... so maybe I should go easy... this is tough! I'm kinda not having much confidence that I'm gonna be able to RUN the whole 5k on June 7... I think I need to really start working on my food intake a lot more and try to lose some LBs to make it easier on my joints to carry me! Hmmm...

OK well ... i just wanted to be honest about where I am and why im' not posting!!!!!!!!! Hopefully the next post will have some activity to report...

Pray that this stomach bug/fever goes away asap! I kinda feel miserable... and even had to miss Softball last night! Darn!

Slow Week

2009-03-25T12:11:00.000-07:00

So its Wednesday and I haven't posted in 2 days...
Thats because I haven't really done much in 2 days... oops! I did ride a stationary bike yesterday for about 10 min in our 'workout room" at the church. We're working on cleaning it out and making it better all around! So hopefuly I can spend more time in there - esp on yucky/off/or busy days!

My knee is really hurting me- even to like fake jog down the hall when I pick up nathan and "race" to get back to my office... it hurts!

SO- do I just get over the pain (something I KNOW I can do... esp after labor!) and run anywya... or do I baby it, take it easy?? Hmmm I just don't know! I dont like being off my 'schedule" bc I have GOALS PPL!! And I"m having a hard enough time keeping those goals as it is!!! Much less adding injury! Ugh!!!

I did register for the April 4th Victory over Violence 5k.. I'm going to walk a lot and run some hopefully with one of my running girls, Alison! It should be tons of fun! I will get a chip- so this race will be a good baseline for the one I plan to ACTUALLY run on June 7th!

Thats about it in the land of becoming! :) I'm on pause till I figure out what to do and how hard to train/push/etc.

Tiff

Want it, Win it, I WON!! :)

2009-03-23T09:22:00.001-07:00

So i just checked out my email and it appears that I am a winner!!

How exiting!!

I recently stumbled upon a blog for mom's who are trying to workout!
www.workoutmommy.com

She has great tips on how to work out in short time spans and it has already been a big blessing, encouragement, and help to me to read her blog!

So here's the link to the contest that I entered...
http://workoutmommy.com/2009/03/16/want-it-win-it-fitness-top-by-sport-science/

and here's the email I got Sat night... Tiffany, congrats--you are the winner! please email me with your mailing address, shirt size and color preference. Thanks! :)

YAY! I win! :)
I like to win!! And I'm excited about this new workout shirt!!

Weekend Update

2009-03-23T08:33:00.000-07:00

This weekend has been CRAZY and Busy and WONDERFUL all at the same time!! :)

Saturday morning, my wonderful TEAM MOXIE friends all met up at Moxie Girl Chrissy's house on Swiss for a group Walk/Run! It was tons of fuN! She had the route all mapped out for us... I'm not sure how long i actually RAN... but i did run some... (prob less than everyone else though! I'm sooo the slowest and one that gets tired easiest!! how I long to run with ease like the majority of my 'team'! Man!) Chrissy tells us we did 1.5 mi.. and it took about 35 min.

After the run, I ran off to Softball practice. Yes folks- I'm playing Softball! I like going to the games and have been at almost every one for the last couple of yrs... it's always been such a fun time of fellowship and community- but usually I'm just sitting in the stands. This time, I'll be in the Dugout (most of the game I'm sure!) and I'll be part of a team! I'm excited!

So practice was fine- i was only there about 30 min or so bc I had a baby shower to goto... but later that night, my arm and side were SO SORE!!! I guess I"m not used to those muscles workin! Even the muscle in my left hand (Glove hand) between my thumb and first finger was sore from moving the glove closed when I was catching the ball! So weird! But I feel like its a good thing!! No Pain - No Gain!! :)

After that- I got to goto a Jump party for some fantastic 4 yr olds w my little man! I didn't jump nearly as much as I did at Pump it up! BUT i managed a few minutes here and there w my little guy! It was SO much fun playing w him! And I LOVED having more energy to chase him around!

So one negative thing about Sat... and all the activity... my KNEES ARE KILLING ME! They hurt soooo bad! I can barely jog w out feeling pain - seems like its kinda in the joints when I put my foot down and its the impact or something that is hurting it. I really dont' want to be stopped before I START on this whole running thing... its annoying to not only have to overcome myself and motivation, and just trying to run endurance wise, but also having to overcome the physical thing too! UGH!

Oh well! hopefully it will all be ok. i'm resting today because of it. And to be honest, I'm happy about that. I just REALLY want to hit my goal of the 5k in june- running the WHOLE thing.

Sunday was the softball game and I didn't play much. I did get to throw a lot during the day (my arm needs work!) and practice w some of my friends. It was fun to have something to do that I enjoyed!! (even if my arm and side and back ARE sore!) I went up to bat twice .. and I'll be working on my swing this week hopefully! (never been to a "batting Cages" before so that could be fuN!).

I think thats my recap of activity for the weekend. As hard as running STILL is for me (even at just 3 minutes), I'm so happy to be transforming my life into one w LOTS of activity! :) I've never been a super physically active person (just really SOCIALLY active) and so its really fun to be changing my life- one day at a time!

Love,
The TIRED and SORE but believing its worth it RIT
Tiff

Week 2 is hard already!!

2009-03-19T15:48:00.000-07:00

I decided I wanted to move right away into Wk 2. (That is 5 min walk, 3 min runs Four times)...

I knew it was going to be tough, so I texted a few of my "running girls" to see if anyone could meet me. Luckily Margaret was free! Yay! I decided we should meet in the middle and get a change of scenery and so we went to White Rock (it was in the middle between work and where Marg was and I've been wanting to go out there but not really by myself!)

I LOVE lakes and so I thought it would motivate me if I had something pretty to look at...

WEll... it started ok... we got on the trail and we were off... 10 min walking to warm up and then the time was coming for the first 3 min set. It started off just fine... no biggie... I felt like it was FOREVER... looked at my watch at 2min or so... and was like- man! Ok... Keep going! (Marg was a big help too!) So we pushed it ... i looked at the watch again... 20 seconds left... so we decided I had to run to a certain tree before I could look again... I did and guess what? I ran 10 seconds over!!! So that was a good one!

The second time around, I ran and started getting that side pain again about 40 seconds from the end of the 3 min. IT HURT!!! A LOT! So I made it the whole 3 minutes... BARELY.... and then was in pain as we walked... SOOO I was the time keeper and Marg and I were just chatting away and I kinda never told her when the time was up for us to run again! OOPS! :) I just didnt' want to! She didn't seem to notice.

Everytime a bicycler rode past us I was LONGING to be on something that would carry me far and fast... instead of having to use my own body to do so! Marg swears it isn't any easier.... but i'm pretty sure it is! I used to have a bike and I LOVED to ride... and go fast... and just travel wherever... now walking and running... its so hard to LOVE. Actually I'm doing good to just not LOATHE it!!! :)

It was getting late (Marg had to be somewherE) so I told her she could run ahead... in which case she asked when we do the next interval run and I said...uh... 10 min ago!!! Twice by now!!:) So after that, she didn't want to run ahead... she wanted to make me run... sooo... we did. However at about 2:20 my side was hurting again, we were going uphill, the sun was BEATING down, and it was MISERABLE... so I just stopped running to walk. Of course as soon as marg noticed she was on me to "Pick up your feet! Move!! Jog, or at least BOUNCE!!!" So I did... for like another 10 -15 seconds... and then we're on this steep incline... and I'm DYING, my KNEES were hurting and I stopped again... She got on me again (which I'm thankful for) and so i started sorta running again... till the end.... but I prob only got in about 2:45 of actual running... w all the stops and starts.

I did NOT feel good in the end. I wasn't exhillerated, or even proud of myself really. Ya I upped it to 3 min... but I didnt' complete 4 cycles... just 3... and a weak 3 at that. I kinda felt like I failed Wk 2 #1! Like I should redo it bc it didn't count... Honestly, I was disappointed. I was disappointed that it was so hard! I was disappointed that I didn't push through, disappointed that my knee hurt, disappointed that I wanted to quit bc it was hard and HOT HOT HOT! I really started to wonder if I REALLY am cut out for this running thing.. or if this was just some crazy LOFTY goal.

Of course I feel like some of that emotion could be bc yesterday was the first FULL day of that wonderful time of the month. And I consoled myself later in the evening by remembering that most of the time on the FIRST day, I'm bloated and barely do ANYTHING... and at least I was out exercising for 45 min and ran some of that. But... thats a weak consolation right now. I just dont know if i CAN do this! I mean, I want to... I'm gonna work hard on it... I'm going to push myself... but I'm lacking the faith or even that hope that I'll be able to run the whole 5K in June... and then I'll feel like I failed.

Its dumb... I know! It really is. I'm doing SOMETHING... and surely the endurance and strength will be built up... surely! But the idea of running 5 min at a time or even 8 min in the next couple of weeks... really scares me... bc I dont know if I have it in me. I'm not totally discouraged and I'm not giving up... but I'm bummed! This is REALLY hard.

I feel like changing the verse Phil 4:13- I think i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, or I really hope I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Sigh.........

Till next time,
Tiff

Workout stats: Time: 45 min, Distance: 2 mi (ish), Run Time: 8 min, 55 seconds. (should have been 12 min!)

Wk 1 is DONE!

2009-03-18T15:59:00.000-07:00

So I went and ran right after work today. I started a bit late and daycare closes at 6, so I cut out 5 min of the first 10 min walking part. (might have been a bad idea but you gotta do what you gotta do). I was really hoping this would be a BREEZE! I mean, its been 3 times so far... and I am starting on "wk 2" intervals next workout (aka 3 min of solid run time as opposed to 2 min) so I thought it'd be fun!

WRONG!

It was just as hard as the 2nd time!! I was checkin time when I had about 40 seconds left every time I ran. I was hot and sweating. There were too many ppl on the track, and it was just rough!!

BUT- I DID IT! I finished 4 workouts running in 2 minute intervals consistently without quitting! yay!

I actually think my energy has something to do with what I eat (shocker- I know)... but on the 2nd and 4th time doing this workout- I had eaten within the 2 hrs before and i just felt heavier. The 3rd time- I went at lunch and had only had a slimfast shake that morning and some juice. I felt so much more energized then! Of course it could have to do with the time of day too- 5pm, end of the work day, etc. But man! I want to do something to change that on my next workout!!

Oh well- its done... (only a million more workouts to go before I'm ready for the 5k... or even for the 1k in just 2.5 wks- YIKES!!!!!)

PS- on a side note, THANK YOU everyone for your encouragement, your comments, your emails, etc! They mean the WORLD to me! I can't believe that my decision to be a runner and to start a blog about it have resulted in so much encouragement. And its cool that some of the encouragements come just when I start to wonder if I can REALLY do this... or if I'm NUTS! God is SOOO good to me!

I feel REALLY silly that people have said I've encouraged them and inspired them when I'm just doing something I should have done a long time ago (take care of myself) and writing about it. Anyway, its such a blessing to me! God works in amazing ways!

Now quit reading and go be ACTIVE!!! :) If i can do it- YOU can!!!

- A VERY sweaty RIT!
Tiff

Weak in the Knees

2009-03-18T07:43:00.000-07:00

On Monday, I did my 3rd interval workout at lunch. Then when I got home, I did a Total Gym Workout in the evening. I'm not too terribly sore all over, but yesterday when I got up, my knees were a little weak! They didn't HURT so to speak... but just kinda feel funny.

I decided to take yesterday off, hoping that a little rest would do them good! I'm hoping my knee won't be a problem!

I had a snow skiing accident on our Church Sr Ski Trip in '98 up in New Mexico. I was coming down the mountain zig zagging like a good little beginner when all the sudden this snowboarder comes out of nowhere and somehow clips the back of my right ski. He hits it from the inside kinda so the back of the ski went to my right, twisted me around and I landed facing up the mountain. I still remember the guy just looked at me, got up and took off without so much as a Sorry or Are You Ok?! Hmmm I've kinda had a grudge against snowboarders ever since!!

So that was in Jan of 98 and then July of 98 I had to have Orthoscopic Knee surgery. I honestly don't even remember what they did (I think I blocked it out!) but I know I have 3 tiny little scars around that knee. I'm pretty sure I didn't rehab it all that great bc I wasn't worried about it back then... I was just about to head off to college for the first time and doing physical therapy was the last thing on my mind!

I've never been all that athletic, so I always thought it was odd that my knee hurt from time to time. Its not like I've been hard on it!

So I definitely don't want to reinjure the knee and am a bit concerned! Its only been 2 wks of this little journey I'm on and I dont want to get stopped before I even get started!!

I'm going to try to do my LAST set of the 1st interval running (2 min at a time) today at lunch! I'll let you know how the knee feels after that! It seems so silly that I would have an injury issue already!! I just started 2 wks ago! (wow was it just 2 wks?! So much has changed since then!)

Maybe I should wear a knee brace just as a precaution?? That seems annoying! I guess we'll see how it feels after today! hopefully I just overworked it on Monday and it will be fine as it gets stronger!

If you have tips on how to keep my knee safe- feel free to post!

Tiff, the R.I.T!

3rd Interval Workout & Butterflies!

2009-03-16T12:37:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to figure out when I was going to get my workouts in this week. I want to be able to train 4 days a week - but its really hard to get that many in- esp in they are supposed to be evenly spaced!!! YOWZERS!

So today- I decided it's been several days (thurs night) since I got to try to Run... and since I just got new shoes yesterday- (from Luke's Locker on Oaklawn! Great place! I ended up with some fun Asics and learned I need a "Neutral shoe"! I also purchased running socks- who knew you had to have special socks?!) I wanted to test them out!!

The day was AMAZING and I didnt' want to waste it! I changed in my office; put on my new Danskin pants and T-shirt (from Walmart), laced up my new shoes, got out my ipod and my new arm band thingie for it & headed out the door to Eastfield College where they have a great 1 mile track! I was ready to go!

So I found some music that was fun to walk/run to... All American Rejects and put it on Shuffle and I was off!! Started out with 10 min of walking (warmup plus the first 5 min interval walk)... The breeze was cool and energizing! I even saw a pretty yellow butterfly (see previous post) that flittered across my path at this one turn and smiled. I was really enjoying my time outdoors with the blue sky as my ceiling and the green grass as my floor!! It was a great start!

Then it was time for the first 2 minute run... I did pretty good! I didn't look at my watch at ALL until i had like 6 seconds left!! YAY! I actually accidently stoped 5 seconds early bc I got confused when I looked at my watch! Oops! Oh well! The 2nd 2 minutes were a little tougher... but I didn't look at my watch till I only had about 17 seconds left- so I kept going and looked ahead and pushed myself (just get to the next tree, etc) and then when I finally looked down at my watch- I'd gone 17 seconds OVER the 2 minutes!!! SERIOUSLY!????

I was SOOO proud of myself!! It seems ridiculous that 2:17 is really that big of a deal when 2 min isn't that long... but it IS a big deal when the last 30 seconds usually KILL YOU! I was pumped!! I smiled all through the next 5 min walk!! So the 3rd interval was actually the hardest! But at the end of it (I looked at my watch w like 15 seconds left) I was in that same part where I'd seen the butterfly before. I just said "Come on God, where's the butterfly!? Come on! Show me! Encourage me!!"... and do you know what?!?!?! That little yellow butterfly flittered back the other way across my path! YES!!! (I feel dumb writing this... but it was SOOO encouraging!) I totally felt like God met me in the little by sending that little yellow butterfly flittering back across my path at the last few seconds of my run!! When I went back to walking- I realized I'd even run an extra 5 seconds!!

However, when I started walking after that interval, I had pain! That pain in my side/ribcage that made me hate running when I was little. The pain that I hadn't felt since 6th grade when I vowed to NEVER run again! I kept walking and breathing and put my hands on my waist... drank some water... before the 5 min was up... it was gone! yay! (ps anyone have any hints on why that happens and what I can do to prevent it?!)

The final run started right by the little pond where I was delighted to see a bunch of little turtles on the bank!! So fun!! So it was tough, but i vowed to not look at my watch till I got to the 3/4 marker on the ground at a certain point. When I got there- I had 10 seconds left... so then I was going to goto the next tree... When I got to that tree, I'd gone 7 seconds over!!!!! YES!!!

When I started walking again, I was smiling, I felt accomplished, i knew God had met me out on that track and I had renewed confidence! I did it!! By Myself!! I did it!! :) I even went further than I intended!! Yay!!

One more of the 2 min intervals and then I'm up to 3 minutes at a time!! I can't believe I'm about to say this- but I think I'll be ready!!!

I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength!! Phil 4:13!

SOOO you go out and enjoy God's creation and be blessed!!

Tiff

Stats: Time: 40 min, Distance: 2 miles, Total Running Time: 8 min 25 seconds!

Pump It Up

2009-03-14T11:44:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to post really quick that today has been a really fun day so far!! I got to goto a 3 yr old BDAY party at Pump It Up! Its this fun place that is filled with inflatables and loud music where kids can run wild, jump, climb and slide on all the different things.

Well today, I was my kiddo's BEST friend! :) He wanted me to go with him on EVERYTHING... and I'm pretty sure in the past I just haven't had the energy to do so..... but today, I LOVED getting to run and jump and chase my kiddo up and down the slides and obstacles on the various inflatable thingies. It was a BLAST!! And I actually feel like I got a workout! I was sweaty and my heart rate was DEFINITELY elevated at several different points in the hour that we were playing!

If starting this workout/running thing helps me be a better mom/playmate for my little man, then it will be worth it! He was so happy to have me by his side. His face when I came up over this one obstacle to slide down to my little man was just sheer delight! I loved every minute!! Most of the other parents were just sitting quietly on the sidelines or talking w other moms. I was in there w the 3 or so dads that were playing actively with their kiddos! Greatness!!

In other news- I got the Total Gym in my apt last night- it is GREAT!! I can't wait to figure out what workouts I want to do on a consistent basis! It is exactly the piece of equipment i needed. It provides versatility and will be great cross training to build strength and endurance and hopefully some muscle definition as I go through this training period! It also folds up really small and will easily fit in my Coat Closet... BUT don't be surprised if it stays out most of the time! So if you come over- be warned! :)

Ok I have a busy day ahead, but just wanted to post about Pump It Up!

Have a super duper weekend!
Be active!

Tiffany

2nd Interval Workout

2009-03-12T19:59:00.000-07:00

Last Night while some really cool guys took my little man to play at Chuck E Cheese, I got to hang with my sister AND THEN grab some (healthy? prob not) food at ZuZu's and then go hang out at one of my Favorite Running Girls' house. She has a treadmill up in her attic room along with some jump ropes, and satellite music! We flipped stations constantly but always kept it upbeat!

So I jumped on the treadmill and was determined to do another of my 'interval workout's - Week 1!" I started with 10 min of walking, then 2 min of running. Surprisingly, the first minute or so was fine, but the last minute was tough. Nonetheless, I didn't stop! I'm determined! Second set was a little better and it was no problem for about a minute and a half! The last 30 seconds were KILLER- but... didn't stop AND had 2 AWESOME cheerleaders literally cheering me on!! Thanks LeeAnn and Chrissy!

Around the 3rd interval, Scott brought Nate back and so it was fun to watch him play and interact with everyone while I kept up my workout! Of course, it was the last 30 seconds that were killer again!! The final interval wasn't SOOO bad.. but... that last 25 seconds is soooo the toughest!!

So I'm encouraged I did it TWICE this week (after not working out EVER in weeks past!)! I need to make it 2 more times before I can move to "week 2" on the interval training... which increases my run time to 3 minutes... man... I can't imagine how I"m going to make it... I feel like such a wimp only being able to run 1.5 minutes at a time without feeling like I"m gonna Fall Over!!! OMG! 3 minutes is gonna be tough! (I feel like that sounds RIDICULOUS btw!!! its JUST 3 minutes?!!! Right?!)

How am I EVER gonna make it to the 5K in june... or even the 1K in April!? I have faith that if I follow this plan and keep consistent, I'll make it! And thankfully I have some pretty awesome friends who want to see me succeed, who already like running, and who are willing to invest in me! Its a really great feeling!! I know without a doubt I would probably have given up on the goals by now (a week after I've made them) if not for these girls! I would believe the lie that its too hard or that I'm just not cut out to be a runner! But not only do I not want to let myself down... I really don't want to let them down either! I know they would love me anyway, but they believe in me almost more than I believe in myself and I want to give them reason to continue to do so!! I'm so encouraged!

So tonight I am getting my "Total Gym 1000"! I'll use it to cross train on days that I just can't get out and workout. hopefully it will be a nice supplement to the runs and help me develop more strength and endurance in these muscles I haven't used much in a while!

Sunday afternoon, my mission is to go buy the right shoes! I definitely don't want to injure myself in the beginning before I even get started! I've been told that Luke's Footlocker is the place to go...so thats where I'm headed! I'm sure I'll blog about the experience on Sunday or Monday in case you don't know what a "Luke's" is! (I didn't till a day or two ago!).

Thats all for now... Wish me luck getting the Run/Walk workout's in!!

Tiff

Workout Stats: Total Time: 40 min interval run/walking (plus some other exercise for prob 15 min), Total Distance: 1.5 mi, Total Running time: 8 min

Productive?

2009-03-12T12:46:00.001-07:00

Ok so last night it was rainy and REALLY cold.... so the run was out! I'm working on alternative bad weather workout options (cross training and such) but... instead- Last night I decided to shop - online and at Walmart.

Online- Craigslist- I went to look for the "alternative workout stuff" i was referring to above... I found a Total Gym 1000 in Addison for only $25 bucks!! Well that DEF fits my budget for workout equip so I emailed the guy right away!! I'm picking it up tomorrow!!
If you aren't familiar w the Total Gym- its the one that Chuck Norris endorses... it has to be good if Chuck likes it- right?
Here's a link of all the exercises you can do w this one little machine! I think I"m getting a STEAL!! :)
http://www.fitnessquest.com/images/TG1000ExerciseBk4_11_03.pdf

So then after having found the Total Gym... I head to walmart to get a few NECCESSARY (yes NECCESSARY!!) things!! If I"m gonna be working out- I have to have comfy clothes, a waterproof watch w a stopwatch on it (for all those intervals) and an armband for my ipod right? Right!!

There were some awesome deals on the Danskin brand workout attire... I got some pants, a jacket, a couple of shirts, and a few more things I need to return!

Next thing to purchase- hopefully this weekend maybe- are some GOOD shoes! I dont want to injure anything before I even get started so I've been told this is a MUST!! I'm also told that Luke's Footlocker is the place to go... sooo perhaps that will happen this weekend!

Thats all I have to report for today... I'm almost all "geared" up for my workout tonight (either on a treadmill at a friend's house- thanks CF! or running outside w the same wonderful running friend!!) I'm excited to put on the NEW clothes so that I LOOOK like I know what I'm doing!!

Stay warm and dry,
Tiff- the r.i.t. (runner in training!)

Butterfly's.. in case you were wondering

2009-03-11T10:02:00.000-07:00

In case you were wondering what's with the butterfly's on the title bar...

I thought I'd explain...

The following word was sent to me by a friend back in Oct 08 and has been a continued encouragement:

"I saw a picture of you cuddled up on the ground and then there was this shell/covering that formed on top of you. It was a protection.. Not intended to isolate you. And then I read Philippians 3:20-21 (NIV & Message). I believe it's referring to when we go to heaven but I think it can pertain to our renewing on earth. The words that he will make us "beautiful and whole" stuck out to me.
And I was reminded of a worm being incased in a cocoon to protect it while it makes a transformation into something beautiful. I think that's something the lord continues to do throughout our walk with him - constantly changing, renewing, refining us to make us beautiful. You are Beautiful! And you are Loved!"

And then I came across the following story:

A man found a cocoon for a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and could go no farther.
Then the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. Something was strange. The butterfly had a swollen body and shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
Neither happened. In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and deformed wings. It was never able to fly.
What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand, was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the small opening of the cocoon are God`s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go throughall our life without any obstacles, that would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Not only that, but we could never fly.

Then from a blog I stumbled upon:

"If I may make an analogy: the butterfly doesn’t want to come out of its cocoon. You’ve been in the world as a caterpillar, and you felt somewhat at peace with that. But you’re destined for bigger things, and you’re more beautiful and complex than anyone would judge by looking at you. The vibrant color would dazzle the eyes of many, and you’re terrified of showing it, because its different, and you want to be accepted, regardless of your feelings towards popularity on the whole.
I struggle with who I am. I struggle with what God’s doing in my life, because I can’t see what’s going on.I know truly that God is able to “do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Eph. 3:20). Like get this butterfly out of her cocoon."

So... these 3 thoughts have been a constant reminder of this "Cocoon" phase that I'm in - physically, spiritually, and emotionally. The picture of the butterfly, to me, is a great reminder that there's more going on than what can be physically seen.... and that one day, I will emerge, "beautiful and whole."

“There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.”- Richard Buckminster Fuller

2009-03-11T07:56:00.000-07:00

This quote was at the bottom of an email today... I thought it was a good one!

What you believe yourself to be, you are. -Claude M. Bristol

1st Solo Run/Walk

2009-03-10T15:49:00.000-07:00

SO I did it! The first time EVER by myself really...

I was determined to start off on this interval thing I posted 2 entries below. Week one begins now! (Meaning my target week 10 (aka the 5K) is around May 20th. Lets hope I can keep that up!)

I jetted after work over to the Track at Eastfield for the first time ever. it was unknown territory and all I knew was that it was supposed to make a mile all the way around. I grabbed my iPhone w the iTunes going, turned on my "iMapMyRun" to see if it really was in fact a mile and was off. The first 5 minutes I thought things were going to be easy... No big deal! Then it was time for my first 2 minute run. OMG! I thought I was gonna die!!! I looked at my phone no less than 50 times in that two minutes just HOPING the time was up!! BUT I DIDN"T STOP RUNNING!!!!! FINALLY, the 2 minutes (that seemed like 20) was over! I huffed and puffed my way through the 5 minute Walking part of the interval... and then it was time to run again....

Ya the 2nd time was pretty much just as bad!!! But- again, I didnt' stop running!! (and didn't even have anyone there to push me! I had to push myself!) Then the next 5 minute walk- and a pleasant surprise of some ducks in a little pond that I didn't even know existed out there. So then, the 3rd set of 2 minute running... and while it was hard, it wasn't quite as bad as the first two... now I still checked my phone a lot to see if it was over- but maybe not 50 times... maybe just like 6! (2 minutes feels SOOOOO long!) Then for the last stretch of walking before the final run... I had already passed my car and didn't want to be late coming back to get nate, so I decided to turn around and go the other direction about 3 min into the last walk. So then it was time for the last 2 minutes of running for my day today! YAY!

It started w a new song- can't remember what it was- probably NSync or something, but it was a great beat to run with (I used to be in marching band so I really can't help running or walking in step with whatever music is on at the moment!) I looked up at the clouds and noticed a plane flying high and I just started saying verses like "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" (phil 4:13) and "Run the race so as to get the prize" 1 corin 4:24 and other stuff... and I actually (surprisingly to ME even) started SMILING while I was running. Yes it still hurt, and yes I was still tired... but I CAN DO THIS!! I WILL do this!!

This was day 1 of my interval training... I"m excited about getting to week 6 when I can run for 12 whole minutes without stopping! That seems ridiculously impossible right now! But We'll see!! I'm NOT giving up on this!! (Thanks to my girls who are helping keep me accountable!)

I am a runner.... (in the making!)

Tiff
Stats: Distance: 1.5mi, Time: 35 min, (Total RUN time: 8 LONG min)